Skip to content
Hi,
Over the last 4 years, I have had issues with my joints. Despite this,
until last year I was still able to enjoy sex and masturbation. Last year, after developing pain in my hip, I was diagnosed with arthritis in my right hip and knee. Since this, I have been unable to orgasm. I want to, I try too, using all the usual methods I would. But I get put off by pain in my joints.
I'm currently not in a relationship and the few times I have tried to have sex since this, I have had to stop for the same reason. This is really getting me down - I'm only 35 and have always had a healthy attitude to sex. I don't feel ready to not have a sex life. Any suggestions as to how I can get past this? Thanks in advance.
Hey there,
Thanks for getting in touch.
We're so sorry to hear how arthritis is affecting your ability to enjoy pleasure and sexual activity, but we have a few suggestions that we hope you'll find helpful.
Planning ahead for sex & pleasure
Planning sex may sound like a passion-killer for those who love nothing better than spontaneous encounters in random places, but when it comes to pain-free, pleasurable sex planning ahead is your best bet.
First of all - when is your pain least intense? If it's in the morning, then this is the best time for you. Or if the evening is generally kinder to aching joints, opt for play sessions later in the day.
The Spanish tradition of an afternoon siesta is a great practice for storing vital energy before sex. Napping is activity that shouldn't be frowned at - we could all do with a li'l rest every now and again.
We are guessing you are taking medication for the pain? Taking pain killers 30 minutes before sex will make sure the pain level is at its lowest and most manageable.
Having a warm bath or shower a short while before your play session will help keep your body and joints feeling warm, relaxed and more supple. If you choose to relax in the bath, you could use the time wisely by bringing a sexy book with you as reading erotica could help get you in the mood. The brain is really our biggest sex organ, and this should definitely be utilized!
Rethinking Sex
It may be that you've enjoyed a certain type of sex in the past, but the time has come to rethink what sex means to you. It could be that some positions are now out of the question, and that's ok.
Discovering new ways to play can really enhance intimacy and sex, and there's potential for undiscovered pleasures!
Sex can be all manner of activities - kissing, touching, rubbing bodies together, mutual masturbation, masturbating each other... Great pleasure can be had from having something inside to squeeze against, for sure, but if bodily movements are too painful to contemplate it's time to look at something different.
Massage and erotic touching are incredibly sexy ways of enjoying each other. For this, we'd recommend using massage candles. The wax melts into a lush, warm oil that can be drizzled directly onto skin, with the added benefit of keeping you warm.
Propping up yourself with pillows will help take some pressure off parts of the body that might find sex extra stressful.
Pacing yourself: slow sex is very erotic, so forget about sweaty sprints and go for the long haul instead.
Sex toys for masturbation
We have some excellent toys for solo pleasure.
Ruby Glow is a ride-on toy, and as such needn't be held in place. This is a fantastic option if your hands get tired easily. Placing the flat base of Ruby Glow on a chair, bed or directly on the floor means you can watch or read something sexy at the same time...
Perfect for anyone with mobility issues, Ruby Glow doesn't require much in terms of hand or leg movement.
Satisfyer Pro 2 is a clit suction toy and exceptionally reliable when it comes to orgasms. They belong to the very latest generation of sex toys - they 'suck' the clitoris and with 10.000-ish nerve-endings at its very tip, this goes down a treat!
We recommend looking into Wand vibrators too. The vibrations are deep and rumbly, and tends to wake up sleepy nerve-endings in next to no time. The Wands are usually of a longer size, so should be easy to hold and maneuver. A cordless wand means you 're not tethered to a wall socket and can position yourself in ways that works for you.
We hope this helps!
Love, Team Sh! xx
If you’d like any tailored advice or recommendations, please feel free to drop us a line at advice@sh-womenstore.com and we’ll answer you privately. We may also share Q&A’s so others may benefit, but if we do it will always be anonymous, with nothing left in to identify you – promise!
