Are you unable to orgasm when you are with your lover?
Is striving to orgasm with your lover leading you down the soggy path of frustration rather than to the pinnacle of passion? If you can't orgasm when with a lover, don't despair. It's more common than you think.
Women have incredibly complex & individual sexual responses.
Worrying about not orgasming loops our bodies into a vicious circle. The longer an orgasm takes, the more we tense up and the more unlikely we are to climax.
Aaarrrrgggghhhhh!!!
This is why many women give up and decide to fake an orgasm instead.
Being in this loop is tiring, frustrating and disheartening, but faking an orgasm is not the answer. Unless you take it to the grave (and so sentence yourself to a lifetime of not knowing how it feels to orgasm with a lover), a fake orgasm lie will come out sooner or later.
To break the "I can't orgasm with a partner" cycle, you have some homework to do.
Never had an orgasm?
Discovering how to transform ‘can't orgasm' into ‘can orgasm’ is the key to future great sex with yourself and your lovers.
Can you orgasm during masturbation? This is a great starting point! You can skip onto the next heading :)
If you don't yet orgasm from masturbation or don't know how to masturbate, you have a little more work to do. Read on.
Learning how to orgasm is easier without an audience. The added pressure of a partner's eyes and hands on you can stop a climax in its tracks, so we recommend taking regular me-time.
We have lots of masturbation advice here, if you need some inspiration.
Arousal is key
Being properly turned on is crucial. Replaying a hot fantasy or getting inspiration from steamy stories can help to get the juices flowing.
A bottle of lube and some knowledge of your erogenous zones is the next step. Many women start with their fingers, but if you've tried this and it doesn't work, you might want to treat yourself to a small vibrator.
Vibrators are reliable orgasm-givers, and this thrilling boost may be all you need to tip over the edge.
If juggling book, vibe and orgasm seems too tricky to coordinate, why not get yourself in the mood by watching porn? This can be helpful as well.
Once you orgasm solo, it's time to invite your partner to the party!
Vibrators are great for couples
Many women need intense, sustained stimulation of the vulva and clitoris to orgasm. If your clit feels over-sensitive or numb, or your partner's hand starts to tire (or you are getting bored), a vibrator could be a launch pad to sexy fireworks.
Millions of women find the 200 oscillations per minute delivered by a well-charged vibrator gets them off every time.
Adding a little extra clitoral stimulation can be as discreet as pleasurable. Most finger vibes are powered by tiny watch batteries and are so small and light that they slip onto a fingertip to add a thrilling buzz to muff shuffles.
A discreet cock-ring vibrator will give you an extra thrill during penetrative sex and is small enough to be introduced without being scary.
Low-profile vibe styles like these are easier to include during sex with a lover.
Best sex positions for orgasm
If you normally climax laying flat on your back, recreate this position during sex with your partner. If you usually kneel or lay on your front during solo sex, copy these positions.
It's common for a woman to need to tense certain muscles in order to orgasm. Recreating your favourite masturbation position ensures you have the best chance of a partnered orgasm.
