Skip to content


Main Navigation

Q&A: I don't orgasm during penetration - what can I do?

Q&A: Don't Orgasm During Penetration - Help at Sh! Women's Store

Hi Sh!
I would like some advice if you can. I never orgasm by penetration, but I do by clitoral stimulation. The strength and pleasure of the orgasm are vastly increased by penetration. Is there anything I can do to improve vaginal sex? Can you help me?

Hello there,

Many thanks for your email – and we’ll do our best! 

This is one of the most common questions we get asked. The good news is that there are several ways to increase pleasure and orgasm potential during penetrative sex.

Around 75-80% of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. This means most of us need to have our magic beans rubbed in just the right way, or a climax won’t happen. Unfortunately, penetration alone doesn't usually provide this ( which is why you're not alone; 75-80% of women also don't orgasm through penetration alone)

But - bear with us. We have some tips for you... 

Having orgasms during penetration is possible but takes a bit of work. It makes sense that your orgasms are more intense when the vagina has something to clench around – this is often the case.

Sex positions for easier orgasms during penetration

Try positions that offer more clitoral contact. We recommend woman-on-top, as it lets your bump and grind in ways that feel good for you.

Another good position for this is the CAT-aligned, which is sensual and sexy. Have your partner position themselves on top (missionary position). Then ask them to lift themselves a bit higher on your body, making sure that their pubic bone grinds against your clitoris. Instead of thrusting, they then go on to treat you to a grinding, rubbing rollercoaster of pleasure, and you might find this takes you all the way to orgasm.

Vibrators can help you have orgasms

A small, non-intrusive vibrator can make all the difference. A small bullet vibrator or finger vibe can be a fun, discreet addition, that you or your partner can simply press against ypur clitoris during intercourse.

If you prefer something hands-free, we recommend giving We-Vibe a go.

We-Vibe Sync - Sh! Women's Store

This clever couples vibrator has been designed to fit against the G-spot and the clitoris whilst still allowing space for a penis or dildo to slip in too. We-Vibes are bestsellers, and we can see why! 

We-Vibe Unite and We-Vibe Sync are both excellent toys. Unite has a standard remote, which make changing up intensity as you get closer a doddle. Sync is adjustable, so you can tailor the fit to your unique cuves.

We are huge fans of remote control toys for couples. This type of sex toy is fun but also makes it so much easier to amp up sensations.

an illustration of a couple using a we-vibe during intercourse - Sh! Women's Store

A strong pelvic floor = strong orgasms

A strong pelvic floor helps increase both the number and intensity of orgasms, so make sure to practice your Kegel exercises regularly. If (like us) you find Kegels too dull or forget to do them, we have an idea for making it more fun. Do them whilst you masturbate!

Doing your squeezes whilst playing with your clit will likely result in an orgasm (win!) plus better control of your pelvic floor (double win!). A pair of Kegal Balls add to your exercise regime, as well as deliver pleasure for your G-spot. 

How to have G-spot orgasms

The G-spot often plays a big part for those who enjoy vaginal orgasms. The G-spot is an erogenous zone located at the front wall of your vagina, and it grows in size when you get turned on.

By stimulating the clitoris and the G-spot simultaneously, you can go on to enjoy what is known as ‘blended orgasms.' Rabbit vibrators do this job marvellously, but you can use fingers too. Or, fingers on the clitoris, and a penis or dildo internally – there are many variations, so pick whichever suits you best.

Over time, you cut down on the clitoral stimulation, a couple of seconds at a time. As you are about to climax, stop stimulating the clitoris earlier and earlier each time, but carry on pleasuring the G-spot. Over time, your body will learn how to have G-spot/vaginal orgasms this way.

We hope this helps!

Best Wishes,

Team Sh! xx

Read more orgasm advice here.

Leave a comment

Please note, comments need to be approved before they are published.

New orgasmic toys!

Our newest sex toys & pleasure products...

Need any orgasm advice? Ask away...

more orgasm advice

Top 10 Tips for National Orgasm Day - Sh! Women's Store
Top 10 Tips for National Orgasm Day

National Orgasm Day, celebrated on the 31st of July, is something we should all be shouting Oh-Oh-Oooh about....

What Does an Orgasm Feel Like?
What Does an Orgasm Feel Like?

If you have never had an orgasm, the concept may seem baffling. How do you know if you've...

How to Masturbate & Up Your Orgasms Quota - Sh! Women's Store
How to Masturbate & Increase Your Orgasm Quota

If you've not yet taken time to explore self-love, it's high time to lock the door, pull the...

Best Sex Toy for Multiple Orgasms - Sh! Women's Store
Which Is The Best Sex Toy For Multiple Orgasms?

Read our advice on the best sex toy for multiple orgasms.

Your Questions about Squirting, Answered - Sh! Women's Store
What Is Squirting, And How Can I Learn How To Do It?

Squirting is something we're asked about a lot. Very little studied, argued as mythical (mostly...

Becoming Orgasmic Online Course - Sh! Women's Store
Becoming Orgasmic Online Course - Unlocking Your Sexual Potential

Our online sex course Becoming Orgasmic is specifically...

Closing Orgasm Gap - Sh! Women's Store
Close the Orgasm Gap - Women Deserve More Pleasure!

The orgasm gap is a name given to the statistical fact that women in heterosexual relationships enjoy...

Spicing Up Sex Positions Advice - Sh! Women's Store
Tips for Spicing Up Sex Positions

Most couples have their tried & tested go-to positions for sex. You start in one,...

How to Have Multiple Orgasms - Advice at Sh! Women's Store
How to Have And Enjoy Multiple Orgasms

Experiencing more than one orgasm during a single sex session is something many of us...

Q&A: Don't Orgasm During Penetration - Help at Sh! Women's Store
Q&A: I don't orgasm during penetration - what can I do?

Hi Sh! I would like some advice if you can. I never orgasm by penetration,...

Guide to Multiple Orgasms - Sh! Women's Store
A Quick Guide to Multiple Orgasms

Anyone who's ever experienced an orgasm knows just how ruddy marvellous they are: Your heart races, toes curls,...

Q&A: Sex & Arthritis
Q&A: Sex & Arthritis

Hi, Over the last 4 years, I have had issues with my joints. Despite this, until last year...

Q&A: Why Can't I Orgasm?
Q&A: Why Can't I Orgasm?

Hi Sh!, I'm looking for a new sex toy. I have the Fun Factory Stronic Bi...

Top 10 Orgasmic Sex Toys for National Orgasm Day - Sh! Women's Store
Top 10 Orgasmic Sex Toys for National Orgasm Day

Would you be surprised if we told you that National Orgasm Day on 31st of July...

Only One Orgasm - What Toys Do You Advise?
Q&A: I've Only Had an Orgasm-What Toys do you Advise?

Hi, I'd like to ask for your help in a serious...

Benefits of Sex - The Chemical Rewards of Sex & Orgasm
Benefits of Sex - The Chemical Rewards of Sex & Orgasm

We all know that sex is toe-curlingly, sheet-bitingly, and swooningly fantastic, but did...