Dear Sh!
Sometimes my boyfriend's penis doesn't fit inside me. What is wrong?
Hi there,
Thanks for getting in touch!
It's not the first time we've had this question - it's not uncommon in MF relationships.
Let's talk about vaginas first. Vaginas come in a variety of sizes. Some are naturally more petite, while others are more open. Either way, they are amazing expandable organs that lift and open up when fully aroused.
His penis doesn't fit - is it too large?
You don't mention if your boyfriend's penis is of the XXL variety, so we're guessing it's more of an average size, especially as this problem is occasional rather than every time you have sex. We take this to mean the two of you have comfortable penetration at other times?
If his penis isn't extra large but doesn't seem to fit inside on some occasions, your body is probably not aroused, relaxed or wet enough for penetrative sex. Lots more lusty loving of the non-penetrative kind will help prime your body to a 'give it to me' state of readiness. This can mean oral sex, finger play or a fun couples' vibrator.
Also, a squirt from your trusty lube bottle can make all the difference. Some couples see using lube as almost a 'failure' or for masturbation only, which is wholly untrue. Dehydration and dryness can happen for many reasons, so extra slipperiness goes a long way towards comfortable play.
Worrying about not being able to enjoy penetration can be another cause. Try not to worry or anticipate that it won't work. This will cause you anxiety, making your body tense up. The more you can relax, the likelier it is that your body will open up to penetrative pleasures.
Be open with your boyfriend about this. For the vast majority of men, their woman's pleasure and orgasm are crucial to them. Letting him know you need more play or lube should have him reaching for your favourite toy or bottle of lube!
Sex doesn't have to mean penetration
Agreeing that sex doesn't always have to involve penis-in-vagina can help ease any worries and let you relax into the sensuality of intimacy without worrying about penetration.
There is so much fun to be had without penetration. Seeing as most women need clitoral stimulation for orgasm, p-i-v isn't the best way to hit the heights of bed-squeaking pleasure anyway!
If things persist, or you feel the problem is more than a lack of wetness or arousal, you might want to look into Vaginismus. You don't mention pain, but if this is the case, we recommend booking an appointment with your GP or gynae for investigation. Vaginsimus can be overcome with support and a treatment plan.
We hope this helps!
Best Wishes
Team Sh! xx
