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How To Enjoy Penetration-Free Sex

Penetration-Free Sex - Sh! Women's Store

Penetration-free sex. What is that? Is sex even sex without penetration? Isn't that just foreplay?? We can see eyebrows hitting hairlines, but babes: Penetration-free sex is a thing, and we're buzzin' to tell you about it!

Are you ready?  


Most people grow up believing that getting sexy centres around one action: Penis in the vagina. Or P-i-V in sex educator language.

It makes sense. Sex education tells us that P-i-V is the 'normal' way to have sex.

Magazines are full of sex position tips featuring a penis and a vagina; TV shows allude to a man humping away on top of a woman - or a woman on top of a man if they are daring. Sex is all around - and all about a penis going into a vagina.

People even celebrate a penis going into a vagina for the first time - popping a cherry! Taking (or losing) someone's virginity! A penis is so powerful it can change a vagina forever! *Sigh*

But what if penetration doesn't work for you? 


  • Penetration can be painful or even impossible for women & vulva owners with Vaginismus.

  • A penis too soft to manage penetration for men & penis-owners with erectile dysfunction can be frustrating. 

  • For vulva-owning folks with vulva-owning partners - no penis is involved, and couples may choose to play without internal toys. 

  • For singles - also no penis involved.

  • Some folks plain don't like it. 

There are more reasons, of course, but it gives you an idea of how many people and couples can and do enjoy penetration-free sex & pleasure. 


75% of women struggle to orgasm through vaginal penetration. This is a fact. Most of us need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. So with this in mind, penetration with a penis or a dildo is a choice, not a necessity. 

Clitoral stimulation tends to provide a surefire way to reach orgasmic peaks as long as your mood, the ambience in the room, and your overall state of relaxation are all cooperating.

A vagina is a powerful body part but never overlook the vulva. The vulva is important. It deserves unwavering attention in the form of Caring, Loving, Intimate Tenderness (C-L-I-T).

There is no better way to worship a clit than with a suction toy. In this new era of sexual pleasure, these fabulous sex toys simulate a sucking sensation. Add a splash of lube, and it feels like a soft mouth is tending to your luscious front garden.

A purple clit suction vibrator - Sh! Women's Store


We prefer to use the word play - because playing doesn't follow a script or lesson plan. 
  • Play is pleasure-focused.
  • Play doesn't require an erection or a moist vagina for sex to be erotic and more-ish.
  • Play doesn't end just because someone has an orgasm. Sex lasts much longer as everyone involved can enjoy as many orgasms as they can handle!

There are many ways to enjoy yourself once you drop the idea of sex as a screenplay. Sexual activity is a playground of sensations you can start, end or continue with at any point!


­Non-penetrative play can involve sensual massages, teasing touches and, of course, hours of oral sex. You can spend hours exploring each other's bodies and learn what makes your lover's clit (or dick) throb. You can rub and grind, kiss deeply, and go to town on breasts & nipples!

Turn penetration-free sex into a game with the help of a game like the Oral Fun boardgame. Use your imagination and embrace exploration. Leave the bedroom and fool around in the bathroom, the kitchen, and the hallway!

oral sex boardgame - Sh! Women's Store

Having penetration-free sex is the perfect chance to introduce new activities. Focus attention on skin and erogenous zones, take turns or role-play saucy fantasies. Invest in some handcuffs and restrain your partner to the bed or explore the art of rope-play. 

Removing the pressure of putting one body part into another opens new possibilities for pleasure. Penetration-free sex is hot, erotic and boosts sexual satisfaction.

Whether the reasons for saying no, thank you to penetration are long-term or short-term, there is only one thing to remember: There are many ways to explore your sexuality without slipping body part A into body part B! 


Imagining this can be mind-boggling if you think of sex as penetration and sex ending once the penis has ejaculated. 

Have you heard the joke about lesbian sex?
Q: How do you know when lesbian sex has finished?
A: When both have had an orgasm! 

The above is in good jest - placing end goals on sex is not helpful - but penetration-free sex is like that. You can keep going until everyone who wants an orgasm has had an orgasm or until the energy runs out. There is no clock (or cock) to time sex - you can take as long as you want to! 


Do you usually avoid sex when on your period? Penetration-free sex lets you keep playing - an orgasm is good for period cramps, boo! Keep calm, pop in a menstrual cup and carry on! 


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