If you have never had an orgasm, the concept may seem baffling. How do you know if you've had one? What is it supposed to feel like? And - how do you get there??
Two physical changes must happen before you have an orgasm. Firstly the blood must start pooling in your breasts and genitals - this engorges and plumps up your bits, and the vulva & vagina get wet.
Also, the body needs to build neuromuscular tension, aka sexual energy. This builds up in nerve endings and muscles of the entire body. The tricky part is to get the 'right' amount of it. Too little, and you won't climax. Too much, and you still won't climax...
Many women find it difficult to ‘let go’ if there is too much sexual tension in their bodies, hence the horny-but-no-orgasm experience. If this happens to you, we recommend slowing down and taking a few deep breaths. At this point, the body is too tense to orgasm. You need to relax before anything can happen.
Many women ask us what an orgasm feels like
This is tricky to explain. All orgasms are organically the same, but not all women experience them the same. They can be short and sharp; or strong and long... And anywhere in between. It depends on what type of play you are having, how turned on you are and how long you have been building up to the orgasm. Also, your pelvic floor strength matters. A well-toned PC floor will experience stronger contractions, but an untoned pelvic floor won't feel the climax as intensely. (A good reason to do those kegels, babes!)
The best comparison we can give is; an orgasm feels like the build-up and release of a really good sneeze - but in your genitals :)))
Try a clit vibe
About 80% of women need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm, and many have their very first climax with the help of a clitoral vibrator. This is why clit vibes are so popular. In fact, we sell more clitoral vibrators than any other type of toy in our fabulous webshop! With the best will in the world, fingers and tongues tire, but a vibrator keeps the stimulation going for as long as you need it to... Magic, if you ask us!
There are different types of clitoral toys. You can choose between bullet or egg-shape vibes, suction sex toys, small fingertip toys or wand vibrators. You can even enjoy ride-on vibes or grind pads!
The style and shape depend on how you usually masturbate or have sex. Opt for something that allows you to replicate your favourite position, but with a sex toy.
Also, the price of your first vibrator plays a part. We advise you to not go all out for your first one - choose a budget-friendly sex toy to practice with. You can always upgrade later on!
We have some great advice on how to choose a clitoral vibrator here.
Orgasm gels
We are fans of using orgasm gels, and if you struggle to hit the top note, you might like to try one too.
These products enhance blood flow to the genitals - and if you remember, the beginning of this article stated that blood flow is essential for a climax.
A little goes a long way, and dabbing a pea-sized amount onto your clit during play is usually enough. You'll feel a warmth spreading through your clit and vulva, and this is how you know the gel or serum is working. Keep stroking or vibrating against the clit and just enjoy the enhanced sensations.
Lube is your BFF
Lube is the best for great sex! It enhances sensations and can take care of any dry spots if you play for a prolonged period. You may get plenty wet when turned on, and the idea of lube can seem redundant - but why not try it... You may be pleasantly surprised!
Becoming Orgasmic pleasure course
There are no quick fixes for fast orgasms - you need to figure out how it works for you. But - our sisters of pleasure over at Shush Life has a fantastic e-course that will help you navigate arousal, tecniques & toys and different types of orgasms once you have mastered the clitoral one. Take a look here!
Read more orgasm advice here.
