Hi,
I was wondering if you could help. I have never had a problem in reaching an orgasm through clitoral stimulation, but my legs have to be together and rigid. This brings on a mind-blowing multiple orgasm, but when my partner either performs oral sex on me or stimulates my clitoris during sex, I never quite reach the same level, as my legs are apart.

I do however have a different type of orgasm through penetration, so my man does satisfy me, I know he wants to feel me coming whilst he is going down on me, but I'm too shy to tell him about my leg clamping thing and I don't want to crush his head, are there any exercises I can do to make me orgasm the same way but in different positions?

Hi there,

Thanks for getting in touch! 

If you always need your legs together, you may have got into a corner with your orgasm...

Most of us have a favoured position that makes it easier to orgasm. 

When your legs are pressed together, you're subconsciously tightening your PC (pelvic floor) muscles. As your whole clitoral organ (internal and external) is joined to the labia, your genital area pulses, tighten and relax during arousal and orgasm.

It's often key for pre-orgasmic women to practice squeezing and releasing the pelvic floor, as this mimics the type of "spasm" action of the muscles during orgasm. A more toned pelvic floor means it's easier to control your "grip" on a penis, dildo or internal vibrator. 

You don't have any problems achieving orgasm, but legs-together clitoral stimulation is such a focused clit orgasm that you are having problems replicating this through penetration or oral sex.

The G-spot (internal) orgasm is, as you say, a very different kind of feeling from the (often) mind-blowing fizz of the clitoral orgasm. The erogenous zones are different, and thus sensations differ. An internal orgasm will never feel the same as the orgasms you have through strong clitoral focus and legs together.

However, this is not to say that an equally mind-blowing orgasm can't be achieved with your legs wide open. 

First of all, we would recommend not allowing yourself your easier-quick-fix-do-it-yourself clitoral orgasm for a while...

And forget trying to replicate anything like it through straight penetration by your partner.

It's time to rediscover your orgasmic capabilities!

Doing pelvic floor exercises could certainly help in terms of you being able to control the squeezability of your pussy lips, and therefore get closer to how it feels with legs together.

With a toned pelvic floor, you should be able to achieve (by tightening the muscles) a similar feeling around your vulva and clitoris.

But, maybe there are psychological implications?

Maybe (consciously or subconsciously) your preferring legs together has something to do with the pleasure of anticipation? Maybe your body gets wildly excited through clitoral stimulation because it's preparing itself for the "entry". When you get actual internal stimulation, could some of that build-up excitement be lost? Consider whether or not it is a purely physical thing.

Sex positions for keeping legs together

Next, think about the position you have penetrative sex.

Using lots of slippery lube will allow you to keep your legs together while your man's member slips inside, from on top or behind.

Keeping your legs together can be good for fantasy sex too.

If you both enjoy role play and fantasy scenarios, why not try a 'being taken advantage of' scene? This allows you to keep your legs together. Don't worry too much about crushing him - a tighter squeeze can be pleasurable for him too!

With oral sex, head-in-thigh-clamp might not be ideal. But, just a side note, we know dudes who love this! Just tell him you fancy 'trying it like this for a change.' Let him know about the sexy sensations you feel when your legs are together. Men tend to get pretty excited by women being specific about their likes!

Even with your thighs around his head, he should be able to reach your clitoris just fine with his tongue.

If you are finding that you need more clitoral stimulation than just fingers or tongue can provide, how about trying a vibrating cock ring? This could give you the clitoral stimulation you desire while taking advantage of everything your man has to offer!

Best Wishes,
Team Sh! xx