Anal sex is one of the topics we get asked most about - it seems you are all curious about how to pleasure the butt! Porn may have you believe that a girthy penis or dildo will slide right in, but... that's not the case. It takes time. You need to seduce that ass.
Learning about your butt and its likes and dislikes on your own gives you a greater chance of a pleasurable and pain-free experience with a penis or strap-on.
Here's our guide on how to make your first time anal sex a pleasurable experience.
Lube is essential for anal sex
The ass isn't self-lubricating, which is why anal sex can be so painful. Lube is a must. And lots of it! We recommend using a lube for anal sex. Anal lube is thicker and more long-lasting.
Some customers want a numbing gel alongside their lube, but we don't recommend - or sell - numbing products. Pain is your body's way of telling you that something is wrong. Overriding this function with a numbing gel can cause internal damage, so our stance is simple: Don't do it.
Start with a fingertip
Make sure you are fully aroused before sliding your attention towards the butt. Play with nipples, clit, penis and other body parts that feel good. The more turned on you are, the more pleasurable anal stimulation will feel.
Latex gloves make fingers feel smooth and help protect the delicate anal area from snaggy or long nails. Using gloves will also make you feel more relaxed regarding any hygiene issues.
Start gently with a well-lubed and gloved finger. Stroke and massage the anus, tease and tickle. Apply a little pressure on the anus when you feel ready for more. Breathe deeply and let the fingertip pop inside.
Explore the sensations. The more relaxed you are, the easier it will be to glide the finger a little bit deeper into the butt.
Moving on to anal sex toys
Your butt needs to be really relaxed before you insert something. The rectum has two sets of sphincters. The first set can be relaxed pretty much at will, but the second set may need some convincing. Trying to push through the second sphincter before it is ready will cause pain. If the ass doesn't invite you in, you need more time, more lube, and more play.
As long as your first anal sex toy is slim and has a flared base or looped handle, it's up to you whether you prefer a butt plug or an anal dildo.
A small butt plug is a good starter toy. Butt plugs are designed to stay in place rather than being moved in and out. They help you get acquainted with the muscles in your bum and the sensations on offer. Squeezing and releasing against a butt plug teaches you how to gain better control of your anal muscles.
An anal dildo is designed to be moved in and out. Practising with a dildo gives you greater control and builds confidence. We recommend practising with dildos of varying sizes if you're hoping to go on to anal intercourse with a penis or a strap-on.
Coat the insertable part of the toy with anal lube, and gently push it against your anus. Once the sex toy glides in, we recommend keeping it still for a while. Give yourself some time to become accustomed to the sensations - it tends to feel "backwards" at first. This is normal.
Anal sex positions
If you decide you are into anal play and want to try full intercourse with a strap-on or penis, we have some advice about anal sex positions.
Most vaginal sex positions can be adapted into comfortable anal sex positions, but we think cowgirl/cowboy is an excellent way to explore anal penetration. Taking charge and being on top rather than opting for traditional doggy style gives you more control. You can decide on depth and speed or take a break and sit still whenever you like.
As your confidence and love for anal pleasure grows, you can experiment with different positions :)
