Q&A: I've Never Masturbated - Can You Help?
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Q&A: I've Never Masturbated - Can You Help?

Q&A: I've never masturbated - can you help? - Sh! Women's Store

Hello, I'm looking for advice. I've been procrastinating messaging you over embarrassment but I am reading Dr. Karen Gurney's 'Mind the Gap' and trying to overcome this!

I'm a 25-year-old cis female. I've never masturbated or used a vibrator before and am looking to get one. What would you recommend? I've grown up with the message that masturbation is shameful, so I am trying to change this but am not sure where to start! My clitoris is quite sensitive, so I know I prefer indirect stimulation. Thanks in advance.

Hello there,

Thank you for contacting us :) 

Please don't feel embarrassed, this is something we hear about daily - the majority of women (including us) weren't brought up to embrace our genitals and all the fun we can have with them. BUT - the good news is that you've started the journey!

Orgasm Course for Women

First off, we’d recommend you take a look at our Becoming Orgasmic course. For women and vulva-owners who want to learn more about their potential for incredible pleasure, this course is designed to encourage self-pleasure and exploration and help you gain a better understanding of how your body works.

A woman with long red hair, glasses are dark yellow shirt holding a plush vulva puppet.

Great Starter Vibe for Masturbation

This lay-on Clit Vibe is a great starter vibe – it’s small, not too loud, and has 10 different settings to explore.

This lay-on vibe is a sultry little number designed to fit perfectly in the palm of your hand. True to its name, this small but mighty vibe is made to be laid gently against your favourite erogenous zones.

Craving more targeted thrills? You’re in luck! With its two flexible tips, the lay-on vibe shifts effortlessly from broad caresses to snug, pinpoint pleasure. Simply press your fingers over the bendy arms and squeeze, bringing the tips closer together and the sensations closer to those nerve endings.

This clit vibe comes with a USB charging cable so the lay-on vibe can be charged from a laptop/desktop or wall socket.

Sh! Women's Store Lay On Clit Vibe

Best Bullet Vibrator For Self-Pleasure

This is a 7-speed bullet toy, about the size of a finger. Just like the vibe above, it can be used for stroking on or around the clitoris and labia.

There are a lot of nerve endings in the opening of the vagina but as an erotic area, it’s often overlooked. The shape of this bullet lends itself to exploring this erogenous zone, and you can even dip the tip into the vagina if you like.

The Rainbow bullet takes one battery, and we recommend removing the battery between uses to preserve the battery life and the toy.


Rocks Off Pride Rocks Off R0-80 Rainbow Bullet

Finger Vibrator for Sensual Solo Play

Last but certainly not least, we recommend a small finger vibrator. Simply slip your finger through the hole in the silicone, switch on the single-speed vibration, and you have yourself a vibrating finger! This is a fantastic toy for newbies or anyone who feels unsure about introducing sex toys into their play.

The Mini Finger Tickler Vibe takes three cell batteries, which are included in the price.

Sh! Women's Store Mini G-Spot Finger Tickler Vibe

Lube for Masturbation

Lube will make a difference as to how it feels to touch yourself, and we always recommend a good water-based lube, whether you are with a partner or exploring on your own.

You can use any lube you like the feel of, but it's best to stay away from things like Vaseline and baby oil as they aren't vagina-friendly.

We hope these tips are helpful - have fun exploring! xx

Read more advice on masturbation here.

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