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Q&A: I've never masturbated - can you help?

Q&A: I've never masturbated - can you help? - Sh! Women's Store

Hello, I'm just looking for a bit of advice (I've been procrastinating messaging you over embarrassment but am reading Dr Karen Gurney's 'Mind the Gap' and trying to overcome this!).

I'm a 25yo cis female, I've never masturbated or used a vibrator before and am looking to get one, what would you recommend? I've grown up with the message that masturbation is shameful so I am trying to change this but not sure where to start! My clitoris is quite sensitive so I know I prefer indirect stimulation. Thanks in advance.

Hello there, thank you for contacting us. Please don't feel embarrassed, this is something we hear about daily - the majority of women (including us) weren't brought up to embrace our genitals and all the fun we can have with them. BUT - the good news is that you've started the journey!

Orgasm Course for Women

First off we’d recommend you take a look at our Becoming Orgasmic course. For women and vulva-owners who want to learn more about their potential for incredible pleasure, this course is designed to encourage self-pleasure and exploration and will help you gain a better understanding of how your body works.

A woman with long red hair, glasses are dark yellow shirt holding a plush vulva puppet.

Great Starter Vibes for Masturbation

The Tiny Teaser Bunny is a great starter vibe – it’s small, quiet, and has 3 different settings to explore. The tiny rabbit ears can be used for stroking on or around the clitoris and offers soft, fluttering sensations.

It comes with a USB charging cable so it can be charged from a laptop/desktop or wall socket.

Tiny Teaser bunny vibrator in pink

Best Bullet Vibrator For Self-Pleasure

This is a 7-speed bullet toy, about the size of a finger. Just like the bunny-style vibe above, it can be used for stroking on or around the clitoris and labia.

There are a lot of nerve endings in the opening of the vagina but as an erotic area, it’s often overlooked. The shape of this bullet lends itself to exploring this erogenous zone, and you can even dip the tip into the vagina if you like.

The Rainbow bullet takes one battery and we recommend removing the battery between uses to preserve the battery life and the life of the toy.

Rocks Off Pride Rocks Off R0-80 Rainbow Bullet


Finger Vibrator for Sensual Solo Play

Last but certainly not least, we recommend a small finger vibrator. Simply slip your finger through the hole in the silicone, switch on the single-speed vibration and you have yourself a vibrating finger! This is a fantastic toy for newbies or anyone who feels unsure about introducing sex toys into their play.

The Mini Finger Tickler Vibe takes three cell batteries, which are included in the price.

Sh! Women's Store Mini G-Spot Finger Tickler Vibe

Lube for Masturbation

Lube will make a difference as to how it feels to touch yourself and we always recommend a good water-based lube, whether you are with a partner or exploring on your own.

You can use any lube you like the feel of, but it's best to stay away from things like Vaseline and baby oil as they aren't vagina-friendly.

We hope these tips are helpful - have fun exploring! xx

Read more advice on masturbation here.

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