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What Are The Rules Of Sexting?

What Are The Rules Of Sexting?

Sexting is fun and sexy and a great way to keep connected when you are apart from your lover. It can be a juicy suggestion of what's to come or a reminder of the hot sex you've had. But what are the rules? Is it "anything goes"? 

Well... Yes and no. It depends on who you are sexting with, how well you know each other and what level of heat you are both comfortable with. 

Read on for our quick guide to the rules of sexting. 


This is probably the most common, and we hope the most obvious, advice: Please check that the person you are sexting is happy to receive a sext. Especially if you are planning a pussy or dick pic or something similarly explicit, you need a definite yes before you get all snap-happy. As with all other sexual activity, consent is crucial.

Send a plain text to see if they're free to text back. When flirting via text, a few emojis can convey all sorts of emotions. Sending hot GIFS is another good way to express your intention without having to spell it out.

No need to get your panties in a twist if your boo isn't in a place to take part in sexting. Accept that the focus of your affections is in a different headspace and move on gracefully.

B&W image. Sihouette of woman's bottom



Are you definitely sending that to whoever you want to be sending that to? Why not check again, just to be sure. You don't want to send a nude to your boss by mistake. Being called into HR to explain why you sent a pic of your mighty muff to a colleague is no one's idea of fun... Quelle horreur! 

A friend recently managed to post their a sexy video on their Insta account, full of work mates and family members. Not ideal. Turns out our friend had several apps open, and pressed "send" on the wrong one... Double-check. Always double-check. A mistake can be costly in so many ways. 

Likewise, if you give someone your phone or show them photos, be cautious about their swiping. Or even better, password-protect your photo folders. 


  • Don't screenshot images when using Snapchat or a similar messaging platform.

  • Don't show anything to anyone unless you have permission to do so. It's despicable, so don't be that person. See: Stephen Bear

  • If you see something on someone else's phone or get sent something clearly not intended for you, pretend to like it never happened and tell no one.

Keep everything consensual and communicate clearly.


Maybe not a hard and fast rule, but if you're sexting with someone you have less than total faith in, steer clear of having your face or any identifiable marks in any sexy snaps you send.

A layer of plausible deniability won't hurt if something goes horribly wrong. And even if you do trust your sexting partner, there are always carelessness, hacking, and unlucky accidents. When it comes to sexting, a level of paranoia isn't a bad thing.

B&W image of decolletage



Worse than the drunk text is the drunk sext. Waking up to see the fruits of your drunken labour is...not great. #BeenThereDoneThat 


Let's move on to tips for keeping things spicy. 

When things are heating up, and you're weaving a sensual story for your lover, you want them to be absorbed in the erotic experience. So now is probably not the time for text speaks. Feeling like you're sexting someone who failed in English is not a turn-on.

What you're aiming to do is build a story. Think about what you would like to do to your partner, what you want them to do to you, or the sexy things you have done together. Build an intimate story that draws them in and heats things up.

Use lots of descriptive words to create the atmosphere. Reacting to what your partner says is a top tip. Pick up a sexy word they use and incorporate it in your next sentence. This creates a shared fantasy.


Instead of full muff/boner shots, we are fans of suggestive piccys. This is your lover, not your gynaecologist. You want to get their brains to start ticking into sexy gear. Throw on some lingerie or experiment with flattering lighting. Putting a little effort into your sexy snaps will always make them hotter.

B&W image. A woman's silhouette on a black background


Here's a list of fun & flirty ideas that will leave your babe wanting more: 

  • Your legs in knee-high boots
  • A glimpse of a bra under a shirt 
  • A lacy stocking top
  • Wet skin in the bath or shower
  • A selection of toys - ask them to choose one for your self-pleasure sesh
  • A pic of your shadow on the wall stroking your breasts or between your legs

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