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How To Introduce Sex Toys into Your Relationship

How To Introduce Sex Toys into Your Relationship

Introducing the idea of playing with a sex toy together as a couple can be a daunting experience, especially if you’re unsure how your partner may take to the suggestion.

But don't let that put you off. Sex toys can be an amazing playthings to introduce to your relationship, injecting fun, breaking routine and helping to close any orgasm gaps there may be...

Whether a sex toy specially designed for couples, a simple vibrator or something more adventurous like an anal or kinky bondage toy, introducing and playing with sex toys together can add new dimensions and openness to your relationship.

Our dos and dont's of introducing sex toys into your relationship

blush pink background. One white hand plus one brown hand tpocuhing each other and holding a blue C-shaped vibrator

Sex toys can be a great way to explore all the different kinds of pleasures you can experience together, as a couple...

Exploring this creates fantastic building blocks for a long and exciting sex life together. 

For long-term lovers, playing with sex toys can rekindle the fun and spontaneity that may have become lost in the routine in daily life. And the simple fact is that most women find it difficult or impossible to orgasm through penetration alone. Sex toys, especially those that vibrate, can help.

Getting excited about playing with sex toys with your partner is stage one. Now all you have to do is introduce the idea in a way that excites your partner too.

If you’re confident your partner will be totally up for the idea of playing with sex toys – no problem – simply browse together and choose away!

If you’re unsure how your partner will react to the idea of playing with sex toys as a couple, here’s our advice 

The most important thing is to go gently because hurt feelings or bruised egos are real passion killers. Your partner mustn’t be made to feel inadequate, insecure or threatened by the idea of a sex toy.

A toy may just be a toy, but you need to ensure that the message is only positive and cannot be mistaken as a comment on any dissatisfaction of your sex life.

Don’t just whip out a sex toy in bed!

Not unless you’re 100% confident of a partner’s delighted response!

In bed, or during or just after sex, might seem like a natural time and place to have the conversation, but restrain yourself. This is probably too intimate a time for this conversation.

It’s probably safer to introduce the idea away from the heat of the bedroom but still within a warm, romantic situation like during a bath together....

A green plant in a pink pot, a red g-spot vibratot, a bottle of Sh! lube and and a rose suction toy. Fairylights in te background.Vibrators make great couples toys, as their buzz can thrill both partners simultaneously. The buzz can also help close the orgasm gap!

When introducing the idea of sex toys, be sure to use words that involve your partner.

You want the idea of playing with sex toys together embraced with bated breath, not dashed with accusations of your dissatisfaction with your sex life together.

A tiny change of words could make all the difference!

For instance:

”I would love it if we played with a…” (fill in the blank) expresses your togetherness and how much their pleasure is vital to your enjoyment.

Whereas: “I would love to play with a…” expresses a single-mindedness which may turn your partner off the idea altogether.

It’s natural to feel flustered or shy at the prospect of talking about sex toys.

If you feel nervous about starting the conversation, try nuzzling up close to your partner and whispering your desires in their ear. This will make you feel more confident (less voice-throwing and eye contact needed), plus you will be so close to them that they won’t even notice your rosy glow.

Embarrassment also can cause us to yammer uncontrollably or clam up completely, neither of which will help you hear their response.

Take a relaxing sip of wine and then a deep breath before you sidle up with your proposition…

Simple psychology means it’s often a very natural human response to be resistant to the idea of something new, so don’t push for a yes or no answer.

At this point, simply plant the seed...

When introducing the idea of playing with sex toys together - don't delve into your past.

Mentioning previous sex-toy encounters is surplus to requirements.

Your excitement will be infectious, and this will be your first time with them. Don’t dilute this excitement with what is history.

Relegate to past, too, any erstwhile toys that may be collecting dust under your bed. Second-hand sex toys may hold too much history for your current partner to swallow.

Don’t be single-minded about the sex toy you want to play with together.

Choosing the toy together makes it joint-ownership and so most likely to be embraced and enjoyed. In our experience, couples often get much more than an overflowing toy box when choosing their toys together.

a pair of hands holding a string of anal beadsAnal Beads are lots of fun, but anal toys (along with kink toys) are probably the most important toys not to be single-minded about. Society has heaped lots of shame on both these kinds of play, so go gently, sow the seed and see if your partner might be open to playing with either, or both these types of play.

How to buy your sex toy - together or as a pressie?

Choosing a sex toy together with your partner has many benefits, Simply browsing together opens up communication and intimacy.

Exploring the different sex toys available and reading about the best sex toys for couples gets partners giggling together and helps to fire up imaginations and fantasies.

Sh! toys are sensual and playful - none of our toys feels like a ‘replacement’ which allows both partners to relax and explore the possibilities.

Having a ‘date’ in front of the Sh! website is a sexy way to discover all the toys and perhaps choose one together...

If you feel sure your partner is open to the idea of a sex toy, a birthday, anniversary or date-night is the perfect opportunity to buy your partner a sex toy gift.

Like all gifts, a sex toy present should be all about them. Make sure to choose something that you know will specifically appeal to them or a toy that's designed primarily for their pleasure. You could say your gift comes in two parts: The actual toy, plus you using it on them!

Anniversary Sex Toy Gifts:

A toy you can enjoy together would make the ideal gift, as this cements the toy firmly in joint-ownership to be played with and enjoyed together!

We-Vibe Unite is designed for couples during intercourse, making it a sexy anniversary night gift.
Oscar wand vibrator
A wand can deliver it's deep, throbbing vibes to both partners - use it as a sensual massage tool, before pin-pointing its pleasure on eachother's bodies or laying it between you...

Sex toys for women & vulva-owners:

A  clitoral vibrator would be our first recommendation - something stylish and sensual, just like the person you're buying the gift for!

mimi purple pebble vibrator

If your partner is shy, they may feel self-conscious about being on the receiving end of such one-way pleasure, so just enjoy gifting the toy. Allow some personal time to explore it solo before you get involved in the fun. 

Sex toys for men & penis-owners

Tenga Egg makes a fabulously sensual prezzie. Designed to deliver a masturbatory treat in a quirky form, they simply crack open the egg to reveal a soft, stretchy sleeve with a stimulating interior. This top slips over the manhood to deliver a totally different kind of handjob!

See our range of couples sex toys here

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