Skip to content

FEMALE-FOUNDED LGBT+ INCLUSIVEūüĆą

Main Navigation

Q&A: I've Only Had an Orgasm-What Toys do you Advise?

Only One Orgasm - What Toys Do You Advise?

Hi,

I'd like to ask for your help in a serious matter: I've been married for 20 years and have only ever had one orgasm when I was much younger. I'm desperate to put things right and think that I need help by buying a vibrator and any books on the subject that might help me. I had one once before but didn't get on well with it, it was noisy and although pleasant never helped me reach orgasm. I might need something like the Lelo Ina but I was really hoping to get some advice! Many thanks x

Hey there, 

Thanks for getting in touch!

This is a super-common question. We meet so many (so many!) women who find it near-impossible to have an orgasm. For a woman, having an orgasm is very much a learned thing. It involves the whole woman - body & mind. 

Learning to have an orgasm is better without a partner present, so we recommend taking some "me-time."

Tools for 'me-time'

You need to be really turned on, and a sexy book or film can help get the juices flowing. Check out audio sites like Dipsea for good material. 

A bottle of lube is essential. Lube makes your vulva nice and slick, and it also heightens sensitivity. 

A clitoral enhancer can make a huge difference. Arousal gel increases blood flow to your bits, plumping up your vulva and clitoris. This helps make them more responsive. 

Pelvic floor control can help improve orgasms, so grab a cuppa and learn about kegel exercises here.

Next on the tick-list for orgasmic pleasures are vibrators. Vibes oscillate at around 200 oscillations per minute and can work wonders for orgasms.

We usually recommend first-time buyers opt for something purse-friendly, like our popular rabbit vibrator. This way, you can find out if vibrators are for you and if you prefer clitoral stimulation or blended internal & external pleasure without spending £££. 

Becoming Orgasmic

Also, we have a great online pleasure course called Becoming Orgasmic.

This course is designed to encourage self-pleasure and exploration and will help you gain a better understanding of how your body works. These skills are essential for building great sexual experiences, by yourself or with your partner. 

becoming orgasmic flyer 

We hope this helps! 

Love,

Team Sh! xx

Read more orgasm advice here.

Leave a comment

Please note, comments need to be approved before they are published.

New orgasmic toys!

Our newest sex toys & pleasure products...

Need any orgasm advice? Ask away...

more orgasm advice

Top 10 Tips for National Orgasm Day - Sh! Women's Store
Top 10 Tips for National Orgasm Day

National Orgasm Day, celebrated on the 31st of July, is something we should all be shouting Oh-Oh-Oooh about....

What Does an Orgasm Feel Like?
What Does an Orgasm Feel Like?

If you have never had an orgasm, the concept may seem baffling. How do you know if you've...

Best Sex Toy for Multiple Orgasms - Sh! Women's Store
Which Is The Best Sex Toy For Multiple Orgasms?

Read our advice on the best sex toy for multiple orgasms.

Your Questions about Squirting, Answered - Sh! Women's Store
What Is Squirting, And How Can I Learn How To Do It?

Squirting is something we're asked about a lot. Very little studied, argued as mythical (mostly...

Becoming Orgasmic Online Course - Sh! Women's Store
Becoming Orgasmic Online Course - Unlocking Your Sexual Potential

Our online sex course Becoming Orgasmic is specifically...

Closing Orgasm Gap - Sh! Women's Store
Close the Orgasm Gap - Women Deserve More Pleasure!

The orgasm gap is a name given to the statistical fact that women in heterosexual relationships enjoy...

Spicing Up Sex Positions Advice - Sh! Women's Store
Tips for Spicing Up Sex Positions

Most couples have their tried & tested go-to positions for sex. You start in one,...

How to Masturbate & Up Your Orgasms Quota - Sh! Women's Store
How to Masturbate & Up Your Orgasms Quota

If you've not yet taken time to explore self-love, it's high time to lock the door, pull the...

How to Have Multiple Orgasms - Advice at Sh! Women's Store
How to Have And Enjoy Multiple Orgasms

Experiencing more than one orgasm during a single sex session is something many of us...

Q&A: Don't Orgasm During Penetration - Help at Sh! Women's Store
Q&A: I don't orgasm during penetration - what can I do?

Hi Sh! I would like some advice if you can. I never orgasm by penetration,...

Guide to Multiple Orgasms - Sh! Women's Store
A Quick Guide to Multiple Orgasms

Anyone who's ever experienced an orgasm knows just how ruddy marvellous they are: Your heart races, toes curls,...

Q&A: Sex & Arthritis
Q&A: Sex & Arthritis

Hi, Over the last 4 years, I have had issues with my joints. Despite this, until last year...

Q&A: Why Can't I Orgasm?
Q&A: Why Can't I Orgasm?

Hi Sh!, I'm looking for a new sex toy. I have the Fun Factory Stronic Bi...

Top 10 Orgasmic Sex Toys for National Orgasm Day - Sh! Women's Store
Top 10 Orgasmic Sex Toys for National Orgasm Day

Would you be surprised if we told you that National Orgasm Day on 31st of July...

Only One Orgasm - What Toys Do You Advise?
Q&A: I've Only Had an Orgasm-What Toys do you Advise?

Hi, I'd like to ask for your help in a serious...

Benefits of Sex - The Chemical Rewards of Sex & Orgasm
Benefits of Sex - The Chemical Rewards of Sex & Orgasm

We all know that sex is toe-curlingly, sheet-bitingly, and swooningly fantastic, but did...