Skip to content
Move over, penetration — anal pleasure has entered a new era.
Meet three sensual ways to explore anal play that don’t centre on “going all the way”: anal surfacing, anal shallowing and anal pairing.
If these terms are new to you, you’re not alone. Let us take you on a guided tour of what they mean — and how they can open up a whole new world of pleasure.
What Is Anal Surfacing?
Let’s start gently.
Anal surfacing refers to pleasurable touch around the anus — without anything going inside. Think of the anus as an external erogenous zone rather than a place for penetration.
This area is rich in nerve endings and can respond beautifully to light, sensual stimulation. That might include fingers, lips and tongue (hello, rimming), a toy, or a body rubbing against it. Because nothing is inserted, anal surfacing is a popular place to begin.
Anal Surfacing with Fingers
A single finger can be more than enough. Gently stroke or tease around the rim without entering. Adding a good anal lube can heighten sensation and help everything feel more comfortable and relaxed.
In a 2022 anal pleasure survey, 40% of women reported finding anal surfacing pleasurable. For many, enjoyment built gradually rather than instantly. Time spent becoming aroused beforehand — and using lube — made a noticeable difference.
Sex Toys for Anal Surfacing
Vibrating toys can be especially delicious for surfacing, as external vibrations can travel through the pelvic area and awaken deeper nerve pathways.
Rotating or licking-style toys offer rimming-like sensations without direct contact, while wand massagers deliver deep, resonant vibrations that stimulate the pudendal nerve — a key player in sexual sensation for all genders.
Anal Surfacing with a Penis
External rubbing with a lubricated penis (with a condom) can feel teasing and intimate without crossing into penetration. Knowing that penetration isn’t the goal can help both partners relax into the sensation and enjoy the closeness.
Introduction to Anal Shallowing
If surfacing feels good and curiosity grows, you might explore anal shallowing.
This involves very shallow entry — just inside the anus — rather than deep penetration. Contrary to common myths, anal play doesn’t have to involve discomfort, pressure or intensity.
A lubricated fingertip entering only to the first knuckle can be enough to unlock new sensations. In the same survey, around a third of women enjoyed gentle internal anal touch, often preferring slow, considerate exploration.
Anal Shallowing with a Dildo or Penis
Slim, body-safe toys with a flared base are ideal for shallowing. Use plenty of anal lube, get comfortable, and focus on the tip rather than depth.
The same principle applies with a penis: slow, shallow movement, clear communication, and no pressure to go deeper unless it feels right.
What Is Anal Pairing?
Despite the name, anal pairing has nothing to do with technology.
Anal pairing simply means combining anal stimulation (surfacing, shallowing or penetration) with pleasure elsewhere — clitoris and anus, nipples and bum, vagina and butt.
Two erogenous zones, enjoyed at the same time.
Pairing with Anal Sex Toys
Anal pairing works solo or with a partner. A small butt plug can add gentle fullness while attention is focused elsewhere, or a toy can be paired with oral, manual or penetrative play.
The key is balance — choosing combinations that feel exciting rather than overwhelming.
A Note on Anal Pleasure
For nearly half of women surveyed, their first positive anal experience happened because a partner approached it in a way that felt right for them. There’s no single “correct” technique — just communication, patience, lube, and starting where you feel comfortable.
Curious to explore more? Begin with surfacing, listen to your body, and see where it leads.
Interested in anal surfacing, shallowing or pairing? Explore more expert anal guides here.
