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Safe, Sensual & Pain Free Anal Play for Beginners

Beginner's Guide to Anal Play - Sh! Women's Store

Are you curious about trying anal play? You're in the right place, babe! Read on for our advice on how to ensure your first time is safe, sensual and pain-free.

Anal sex is a subject many feel uncomfortable talking about, but has a quiet desire to try. It's still a taboo of sorts, which is a turn-on in itself. It's also shrouded in scary misconceptions like 'anal always hurts' and 'it's messy!' 

Neither of those two statements have to be true; it depends on how you approach it. With the proper care and hygiene prep, anal sex should be intensely pleasurable. 

Are you ready? Let's delve into our anal play for beginners' guide!

Anal play: Think prep, arousal and lube!

Firstly, let's deal with one of the biggest taboos around anal sex. A common concern about anal sex is the potential for mess, so let's start there.

Is Anal Messy? 

The anus and rectum are designed for expelling - fact. If you plan on playing with the butt, you and your partner need to prepare for coming into contact with poo; this is the reality of bum play. But(t), there are a few ways of ensuring you get as few surprises as possible:

  • Make sure the person on the receiving end has been to the loo. This is essential prep and will allow you both to relax.
  • Showering together will start the erotic build-up. Soap up the bottom and rinse off - shower jets over the anus feel very sexy.
  • Some people prefer¬†to douche before anal play¬†to feel extra clean. A douche is a bulb you fill with water and use it to flush your bum clean.¬†

Lube for Anal Play

  • Silicone-based lube¬†is fantastic for skin-on-skin anal play. It's long-lasting won't dry up, and typically doesn't have any scent or taste.¬†
  • If you're planning on using silicone sex toys or toys with a soft surface, you're better off using¬†water-based lube. This type of lube rinses off easily and won't trap bacteria in the pores of the sex toy material. Unlike silicone-based lube, water-based lube sinks into the skin, so you'll need to re-apply regularly.¬†
  • For anal play, a thicker lube like Sh! Pure Plus is a great choice. Apply plenty of lube to the anus, fingers or toys, and keep it coming. For anal play, there really isn't anything such as "too much" lube (unless you start losing control of toys).¬†
a pair of hand pumping lube out of a bottle

Anal Play Safer Sex Tips 

  • Using condoms for anal sex makes clean-up a doddle (whip off and throw away!). Slip a condom over anal sex toys too for the same easy-clean reason.¬†
  • If you have long or sharp nails, get some¬†latex gloves¬†to make them smoother - tushies are delicate, and you don't want to snag the thin membranes.

Warming Up For Anal Play

  • Take the time to massage your partner's buttocks, lower back, and upper thighs. The skin is one large erogenous zone, and kneading, touching and stroking will help get you both in the mood for more.¬†
  • Using your thumbs, glide along the crease from the inner thigh to the outer side and repeat.
  • Next, put your hands in a prayer position on your partner's tailbone and glide up and down between the buttocks for a sensual and relaxing start to anal play.
  • Add a little¬†anal lube¬†to your fingertips and stroke gently around the anal rim. Explore the anal opening without penetrating it.¬†
  • If you both feel comfortable with it, rimming is a fantastic way to get the anus ready and waiting. Licking, kissing and sucking on all the nerve endings in the area may make your play partner feel like their brains are melting...¬†

More Tips For Sensual Anal Play For Beginners

  • Spend time stroking and playing around the anus, and make sure the receiving partner is ready for more before you dip a lubed-up pinkie in. Once they start pushing their butt back for more, you can ramp it up a little bit.¬†
  • Happy Hiney Anal Comfort Cream¬†gently relaxes the area, which is perfect for beginners. Happy Hiney helps relax tense and nervous muscles and reduces friction. This cream is free from numbing agents but delivers a delicious tingling sensation.

Sex Toys for Beginner's Anal Play

  • Any toy used for anal sex needs to be safe for this type of play; i.e. the toy must have a flared base or a handle. Using unsafe toys for bum fun often ends badly (think A&E).
  • Always start small, especially if you are new to anal adventures.
  • Anal beads are ideal for beginners. The beads start small and gradually increase in size, although there is no need to insert them all unless you want to. Go at your own pace and focus on enjoying the sensations.
a pair of hands holding a pink string of anal beads

  • A¬†butt plug¬†is another¬†great beginner's option. Plugs are small-ish toys inserted into the bum for sensual 'full' sensations. The trick is to leave the butt plug in place, giving the wearer something to squeeze their butt muscles around.¬†Try wiggling the plug for extra pleasure, or move it in and out so the sphincters get used to opening and closing.¬†

This might be as far as you go on your first occasion, but it's plenty. You want to leave the brain thinking of anal play as something pleasurable, as that'll make it easier for it to relax the next time.

Anal Penetration with Dildo or Dick 

  • Many couples who try anal sex for the first time are keen on getting 'stuck in' as soon as possible. This is a mistake.
  • Rushing it makes for an uncomfortable or painful experience. If you've decided to go for full penetration, you'll still need to start as above - building it up slowly helps the body relax and welcomes in the penis or dildo.¬†
  • The inside of the anus is a lazy S-shape, so make sure you're familiar with your partner's internal curves before dipping in. Visualize their insides and move to accommodate this; this is especially important if you're using a dildo as you won't be able to feel resistance or any dry areas.¬†
  • Keep checking in with your partner. Make sure they're having a great time, and keep the bond going by kissing and touching.¬†
  • We recommend the receiving partner is on top when anal play is new for you both. This gives them the freedom to rock, wiggle or just sit still if that's what feels best. You can get all adventurous and try out different positions later when you both feel more confident.

Prostate Play

  • The butts of men & male-bodied folks have an additional part that enjoys gentle stimulation:¬†the prostate.¬†
  • The back-door area has long been shrouded in shame and denial, especially for straight men, but we're delighted to say that the P-spot and its pleasure potential is finally out in the open (about bloomin' time!).¬†
  • The prostate can make its owner multi-orgasmic and is well worth exploring. The rules for stimulating a butt with a prostate are the same as the rules for playing with a prostate-less a butt. Take your time, use lots of lube, ensure your nails are short & smooth and make sure the person on the receiving end is enjoying the play!
a diagram illustration of the prostate

A Note About Numbing Creams For Anal Play

We never recommend using numbing creams for any sexual activity, especially not anal play. Pain is the body's way of telling you something is wrong, and overriding this function can have dire consequences. 

Read more Anal Advice Here.

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