Hi, I have been happily married for 37 years but am currently undergoing couples sexual counselling. I am 58 yrs old, have only had one sexual partner and have never used any sex toys or vibrators. I have not had sex for 8-9 yrs and my counsellor has suggested that using a vibrator might be helpful as we try to reignite our physical relationship. I have looked on your site but do not know where to start. Advice would be really appreciated. Thanks. P.
Hi P,
Many thanks for getting in touch!
A vibrator is a great way to help reignite a sex drive that has taken a dive. And we agree; it can be tricky to choose one when there are so many different types! We'll break it down to make it easier for you to pick one that will suit you.
Clitoral vibrators
Clit vibes are usually small, but can still be very powerful. Their main use is to stimulate on and around the clitoris. They can be stroked, wiggled or just rested in place – try all of those moves to see what you like best.
The egg-shaped vibrator shown in the picture is called the Ultra 7 Vector Egg and is very popular with our customers. The Ultra 7 Vector Egg offers 7 modes to play with and explore, and we find that the rumbly vibrations are very reliable for orgasms.
G-spot vibrators
G-spot vibrators are designed for internal use (but they can also be used on the clitoris), and the built-in G-spot seeking curves will help find and stimulate this erogenous zone area just inside the vagina. It takes a while to coax the shy G-spot into action, but it is definitely worth investing some time in exploring it. You may find it creates fireworks!
You could also try using a G-spot arousal gel. The gel works by drawing blood to the G-spot, making it firmer, easier to find and much more responsive to stimulation.
Rabbit vibrators
Rabbit vibrators have got a lot going on: A shaft for internal pleasure and a clitoral stimulator for simultaneous external pleasure. Bunny vibes look a little tricky to use, but actually, rabbit vibes take care of all your sexy zones at once – all you need to do is lay back and relax!
Rabbit vibes are the most popular vibrators of all time – it’s a favourite sex toy in millions of bedrooms across the globe. Many (many!) women say they’ve had their very first orgasm with the help of the cleverly-designed rabbit ears.
How to choose the right vibrator
With every style of vibrator you choose, we’d recommend opting for a smaller-sized vibe for your first sex toy. It’s been some time since you last had penetrative sex, and it’s not impossible that the sensations will feel “odd” to start off with. Anything too girthy could feel uncomfortable and put you off further exploration. It’s better to go small, as you can always add lengthier or girthier toys when you feel more confident.
Something like the Rocks-Off Scarlet Bullet vibe could be just the thing for you. This vibrator is about the size of an average-sized finger, and it can be used both on the clitoris and internally. This little marvel can be rested length-ways along the labia, or stroked around the clitoris and also inserted if and when you feel ready.
Here are more tips for helping you choose a vibrator.
Use lube for enhanced pleasure
Lube will enhance sensitivity and sensuality and is essential for any kind of sex play. At 58, your vaginal membranes will feel drier and tighter – this is normal and natural. To avoid chafing or tearing of sensitive areas, adding a generous drizzle of our Pure Plus lube will be very helpful. Pure Plus is thicker and adds a lovely padded layer on delicate membranes. It’s paraben-free, and it has no taste or scent – just very clean, lush lubricant for more comfortable sex.
We hope this helps!
Best Wishes,
Team Sh! xx
Browse our cherry-picked selection of vibrators here.
If you’d like any tailored advice or recommendations, please feel free to drop us a line at advice@sh-womenstore.com and we’ll answer you privately. We may also share Q&A’s so others may benefit, but if we do it will always be anonymous, with nothing left in to identify you.
