Here's a heads up: this post is NSFW. If you’re easily unsettled or prefer to keep things classy, you might want to stop reading now, because the scary sex toys we are about to dive into are...well...hard to forget.
Since 1992, we’ve been at the forefront of the erotic retail movement, opening the UK’s first women’s sex shop. But despite the progress we’ve made, there’s one area where some of our competitors are still stuck in the past - refusing to ditch the outdated ‘adult aids’ that clutter shelves (and online stores).
Back when we started, finding quality sex toys was a real challenge. But thankfully, the industry has come a long way, with more empowering and innovative products available than ever before. So, why are these creepy, old-school sex toys still hanging around?
Night of the Living Dong: Scary dildos that don't deliver realistic pleasures.
Why won’t the oversized, hyper-realistic dildos just disappear? They seem impossible to avoid, with countless versions flooding the market, and honestly, we’re baffled. It’s one thing to explore gender play, but do we really need over 150 nearly identical monster dildos from the major retailers?
Here’s the kicker: most women and vulva owners don’t achieve orgasm through penetration alone. So, who are these mass-produced dildos meant for?
Interestingly, a customer-tracking webinar revealed that cam models are the biggest buyers of these extra-large, anatomically exaggerated toys. Fair enough, but this skews the market, creating confusion for women seeking genuine pleasure products, rather than ones catering to a voyeuristic experience.
‘Realistic’ Dildos are something of a touchy subject for us. We’ve never stocked realistic dildos, and there’s a reason for that. Countless customers have told us that the one their partner bought for them ended up discarded under the sink (straight in the bin!). Beyond being, let’s face it, not exactly a visual delight, the bigger issue is what they imply about female sexuality.
Do they suggest that all women’s pleasure revolves around a penis? We know that’s far from true. If there’s a penis involved, the pleasure comes as much from the person it’s attached to.
That said, we understand some people enjoy gender-play toys, and we’re keen to create a great trans-inclusive section on our site. We’re exploring how to navigate this balance and would love to hear your thoughts. Drop us a comment or an email!
Bride of Chucky: Scary sex toys that reduce male sexuality to a single entity.
Guys, aren’t you a bit horrified by the sex toys marketed to you? If we were men, we certainly would be. It’s a sea of disembodied parts - severed vaginas, detached derrieres, and truncated torsos - just sitting there, passively waiting for action. Does this appeal to your imagination?
We find these toys offensive - not just because, like much of the porn industry, they reduce women to mere body parts and holes - but also for what they imply about male sexuality. They suggest that men are single-minded, like zombies, seeking out a lifeless replica (or mash-up) of the 'real thing.'
If we had the right anatomy, we could think of plenty of creative, pleasurable alternatives: the juicy centre of a melon, the soft folds of velvet, or even the warm, syrupy interior of a fresh apple pie! But what the standard sex industry gives men is a lot of weird apertures in a can...
Male sex toys still have a long way to go to match the aesthetic appeal and creativity of women’s toys, but they’re making progress thanks to innovative designers like Tenga.
The Blob: The scary sex toy material that should be in its grave.
We’ve been raising awareness about phthalates in sex toys for years. Phthalates are chemicals used to make plastics soft and flexible. Since 1999, they’ve been banned from children’s toys in the EU due to research linking them to potential risks, including effects on sexual development and fertility.
Sex toys made from jelly or PVC often contain phthalates. Years ago, most sex toys were made from jelly, leaving consumers with minimal options.
In recent years, there’s been a shift, with most sex toys now made from body-safe materials like silicone and TPR. So why are these 'Freddy Kruegers' of the sex toy world - those still containing harmful phthalates - still creeping onto sex toy websites?
The real issue is that many of these toys come with no clear information about phthalates, leaving shoppers in the dark and unable to make informed decisions.
The mainstream sex industry and retailers still have a long way to go before we can finally lay these horror stories to rest!
