*Trigger warning*
This blog post is about deep-throating oral sex and mentions a non-consensual situation. If you think this might trigger you, reading further is not advisable. Grab a cuppa and choose another article instead xx
Deep throating - the dream of many men and the misery of many women.
If you've ever been on the receiving end of an erection shoved down your throat and a hand holding your head firmly in place, you know what we're talking about. There is drool, growing panic and an inability to breathe freely.
After one such encounter, I spoke up and let the person know that there would be no more blowjobs if a non-consensual dick shove happened again. Rather than recognising and perhaps apologising for getting carried away, the dude simply said: 'Other women like it.'
He didn't get seconds.
What is deep-throating?
Deep-throating is the act of taking a penis deep into the mouth and throat. It is commonly shown in porn, leading to high expectations among men-folk. Many cis-het men assume deep-throating should be given during sexual encounters.
We disagree.
Deep-throating is an intimate act and requires trust and non-verbal communication between partners. Granted, many fellatio givers love firm handling, but it's about consent. Consenting to a dominating dick shove versus a play partner who assumes they have a right to do it are two very different situations.
Are you hoping to be a deep-throat receiver? Read on for deep throating tips on how to make it safe & comfortable for the giver.
Deep Throating Tips for the Receiver
Safe Signal
Your lover isn't going to be able to speak with your erection in their mouth. This makes a pre-agreed safe signal vital. They could give you a double tap on the thigh, for example. Pay close attention to your lover's body language during the act. You want to ensure they're having as much fun as you are!
Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate
The giver needs to be well-hydrated - lots of saliva is good! Have water and a tasty flavoured lube close by and give them time to drink or apply more moisture. It's often assumed that lube is for p-i-v only, but it makes all sex better :)
Best Position For Deep Throating
When people think of deep-throating, giver-on-their-knees is the position that springs to mind. We have a different suggestion, but you must be 100% trustworthy. The giver lays on the edge of a bed, with their head hanging over. It's a vulnerable position, and they may feel dizzy, but it allows for a smoother entrance of the cock. Go gently and insert only as much of your penis as they can comfortably manage.
Don't push their head onto your dick unless you have discussed it before your play session. Rest your hands on their head or stroke their hair, by all means - but they must be able to pull off and take a breather. Very important!
Breathing & Gag Reflex
Your partner needs to be able to breathe calmly and slowly. Give them time to get into a rhythm. We generally advise the giver to breathe with the blow job rather than against it. Breathe in when the cock goes in, and breathe out when it pulls out. It's a simple trick, but it works!
Many folks love to hear gagging but remember that the gag reflex is a warning. If tears are streaming down their face and gagging starts, there is a real threat of vomiting. Pull out - they need a break!
Need A Helping Head?
Giving deep-throating oral sex isn't for everyone, which is perfectly ok. If you want the sensation of deep-throating but your lover isn't keen, we recommend ordering a Helping Head.
A Helping Head silicone stroker is a fun sex toy for blow jobs. Ask your love to apply water-based lube to the inside of this soft silicone stoker, then pop it over the erect shaft. The opening creates a tight, wet seal, like lips. The Helping Head can then be massaged up and down the penis as the tip is licked and sucked!
