MONDAY: NSFW DOESNT APPLY HERE!
A young woman with Vulvodynia comes in. Her sexologist has referred her to Sh!, and we're able to help her find a couple of suitable products. We want to post a link about Vulvodynia to our Facebook page, but internet is being temperamental so we'll have to postpone that for now...
We find an article about the importance of penis size, (spoiler; it isnt!) but every time we try to read it, the till screen shuts it down.
We wonder if the powers that be have decided to limit our NSFW viewing, but then of course, pretty much of everything is definitely SFW at Sh!
Or it could be someone has switched on the parental control by mistake.
TUESDAY: UNASSUMING DOM
A professional dominatrix comes in to look at a bull whip we've ordered in especially for her. She looks very unassuming in the flesh – you’d never know what she does for a living.
We like that. ;)
WEDNESDAY: OFFENSIVE BOAS
A couple walks in, and the male is not in the best of moods. He takes offence to the colourful feather boas displayed along a wall. He calles them 'PLO-scarves' - we're not quite sure what he means, but it's clear it's not good. His female partner tries to calm him down (this is how upset he is), but he refuses to listen.
He demands to know why we have them in the shop, and we reply truthfully: feather boas are fun and seductive, and many of our customers like to wear them when dancing/stripping/seducing their partners.
He finds this outrageous, and says he'd hate it if anyone danced for him and wore a feather boa.
The female partner intervenes and leads him over to the suspender belts. He doesn't like them either; suspender belts are also quite offensive.
They look at kinky section and she playfully spanks him. He complains to the Store Manager, perfectly serious. Apparently the Manager has provided the means by which his partner has taken liberties with him, without asking him if it's ok.
At his point, the female has had enough and an argument ensues.
She stroms out.
He blames us, and then storms out too.
We can't win them all.
THURSDAY: BAD TEAM Sh!, VERY BAD!
Lovely Swiss couple comes in. Against our rules, there is some playful banter and flrting (Bad Team Sh!, very bad!). The couple leave with two bags full of goodies… Seems the flirting paid off!
On the grapevine, we hear that the Operations Manager will be joining us for drinks this evening. We rush to call her as we need a couple of bits. She doesn’t pick up, so I think she might be with the Financial Director discussing important money stuff. We have no qualms about interrupting, so we call the FD’s number instead, only to find that our colleague has left already.
"On no, that's a shame - we really need some clit clamps for tonight".
(*For a customer. We promise.)
The FD laughs so hard we think she might be in danger of falling off her chair – whatever it was she expected us to say, it wasn’t that!
FRIDAY: CASUAL EVERYDAY
A CV comes through. We have to laugh - a guy has applied on his female partner’s behalf (we're not convinced she’s aware of ‘her’ application, as he points out we must not contact her). He’d like her to work at Sh! so ‘she can wear high heels and leather skirts’.
We hate to burst his bubble, but the Team Sh! is far more smart-casual when we rock up for work in the morning - think pumps, black jeans and black tops...
TALES FROM SH!, THE UK'S FIRST WOMEN'S SEX SHOP (SADLY CLOSED SINCE COVID LOCKDOWN)