Let’s face it, no one knows your body and what gets your juices flowing quite like you do. While partners try their very best to push all the right buttons, they sometimes get it wrong. Maybe they lack know-how on your hot-spots, maybe they're a tad too rough or a little too gentle, maybe they go too fast or maybe it's not fast enough...

Well, Siri or Alexa cannot help you now. Your partner needs insider knowledge.

Telling someone that they aren't doing it for you is tricky and it's likely that feelings will be hurt. Rather than focusing on the negative and telling them what they are getting wrong, try turning into a positive experience for you both instead.

Show & Tell

For once, be the star of your P.E. lesson. Change history. Become your partners’ hottest PT. Open your legs and instruct.

Mutual masturbation is the perfect antidote for a kinaesthetic or visual learner (those of you that are targeting an auditory audience – we will get to you in our next section). It’s a great way to show your partner what gets you off whilst encouraging them to demo their personal bests. With no losers, it’s a win-win. 

Instead of turning your favourite exercise into a lecture, you can plan your “how to ruffle your muff” guide interactively. Try playing a game of “show and tell” to express exactly how you want it (or them). This way, they get VIP tickets to their favourite show, free of charge, whilst you get to watch them fangirl in adoration for you. Destined to be a memorable event for all parties, this will get your point across in a hot, empowering way – and they will literally not be able forget it.

Sexual Servant 

Like a little role-play in the boudoir? Get into character with your favourite props.

Handcuffs, blindfolds, paddles, whips, chains, gags, collars, nipple clamps, restraints…the list goes on, but whatever suits. Make another fun game out of it and command your submissive as your new identity of “Mistress” or “Master."

You could always go old school and give them the odd spank whenever they get a response wrong (though this might give you a mutiny wherein they try to avoid any correct answers). You don’t have to get “hardcore” for a successful stint at dominating. Many people find it to be a huge turn-on, so allow your partner be your sexual servant and relish your chance to be totally in charge. Tell them exactly what you want them to do, how you want it done and keep the verbal feedback going as it will encourage them to keep at it ("it" being whatever you want them to do). God loves a trier and so should you.

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Steamy Suggestions 

Maybe these two prior suggestions are too showy for you. Or maybe you consider yourself to be better with words. Thankfully, you’re living in a flourishing technological environment and you can do your thing remotely.

Is your partner at work? Good.

Are they not a surgeon, a dentist or anything that requires a steady hand? Good.

Now is the perfect time to get their phone vibrating and start sending a few saucy and suggestive texts. Start off gently and scope it out. Maybe, it’s just a message or two about feeling frisky and wishing they were there. If they don’t reply, they’re probably in a meeting and hopefully not a disciplinary (even if the latter option is the case, their day is about to get a lot better).

We hate to state the obvious but please be sure you’re texting the right person. If your phone is dodgy, this is the perfect excuse to get an upgrade. Once you’re sorted, send the text and wait a short while for them to respond and amp it up. Begin explicit instructions of what you image your partner doing to you. The more specific you are, then the easier it will be for them to get it right later on.

Give it a short while, then ramp up the language and include a few of the things you want them to do to you. The more specific you are, the wilder their imagination will run and so the easier it will be for them to get it right later on. Something like "I'd really like you to nibble the inside of my thighs before slowly working your way closer to my wet lips" is both to the point and instructional, and will ensure they limber up their lips on the way home...

An intrepid member of our team likes to surprise partners by leaving a pair of her small, silky kickers in their coat pocket for them to find on their way to work. This works wonders in that they'll be thinking of her all day and be primed for action when they walk through the door in the evening!

More sex tips here!