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How To Choose the Best Sex Toy for You

How To Choose the Best Sex Toy for You

Whether you're a sex-toy newbie looking for a first vibrator or budding sexpert seeking new thrills, the most important thing to think about when choosing a sex toy is what you want to get out of your toy.

Ask yourself: What is the main type of pleasure I want to experience?

It's easy to get bogged or diverted by all the different styles of sex toys available, but in order to find the best sex toy for you, one that will meet your expectations and deliver the kind of pleasure you're looking for, the best starting point is to zone in on exactly what you want its main job to be.

Below are the different types of sex toys we discuss in this article, and why they might be the best choice for you:

Vibrators at Sh!


For purely clitoral pleasure: The best sex toy to choose is a clit vibe or a clit sucker

Many people assume the way to use a vibrator is to put it inside, replicating intercourse, but actually, 80% of womxn only use theirs externally on or around their clitoris during masturbation.

For those who own a clitoris (yay!) clitoral stimulation is absolutely key to orgasms, so no wonder that small clit vibes are the most popular choice for the majority of our customers. Any toy that vibrates can stimulate your clitoris, so choose a vibrator that appeals to you and don't worry about what category it might fit into, like a G-spot toy or an anal vibe.

You can spend as little as £10, up to well over £100. Choosing the right vibrator is a very personal choice and we have lots of advice to help you. If you’d like tailored advice, give us a call on 03333 444 005 and we’ll be happy to talk through the best options for you.

a hand holding a re rose suction toy

Read more from the Sh! advice categories:

For internal pleasure - the best sex toy to choose is a vibrator or a dildo

The vaginal entrance is packed with sensitive nerve-endings, and intense pleasure can come from inside too. Choosing the right shape and size of a penetrative toy is important.

The right toy for penetrative pleasure is something of a Goldilocks choice; one that's too big or wide (for you) will feel uncomfortable, just as a toy that's too small or slim (for you) will feel unfulfilling.

The best way is to think of (or measure) the size of your preferred penetrative pleasure object, be that fingers, a penis or another sex toy, and opt for similar proportions.

We grade all our penetrative toys into 3 widths (measured at their widest diameter):

  • Slim > 1.25" (1-2 fingers)
  • Mid 1.25" - 1.75" (2-3 fingers)
  • Ample 1.75" (3+ fingers) 

And 3 lengths (measured as the insertable portion only):

  • Small: 4 inch or less
  • Medium: 4-6 inch
  • Long: 6 inch or more

Use the filters to find the best length & width combo for you.

Despite the jokes, size isn’t everything. Every women is different, which is why we stock penetrative toys from petite to very girthy.

If you’re not keen on the idea of vibrations, you might be looking for a dildo instead. Traditionally, dildos are shafts for penetrative pleasures, but more modern versions like our Sh! dildos, have vibrating options.

a hand holding a blue and gold G-spot dildo

Read more here:

For dual stimulation - the best toy to choose is a a Rabbit Vibrator

One of the most famous sex toys in history, the rabbit vibrator offers amazing dual sensations and internal massage is combined with intense clitoral stimulation. Millions of women agree that it’s a winning combination!

You’ll find more advice about dual stimulation-type toys here:

a hand with dark nail polish holding a slim purpmke rabbit vibrator

For stronger orgasms through PC Muscle workout: It's best to choose Kegel Balls

The key to stronger, longer, and more certain orgasms is a strong PC muscle. Learning how to control your pelvic floor means you can flex your vagina during sex, which offers more sensation and helps build arousal.

The pelvic floor also seems to be very important when it comes to female ejaculation or squirting if this is something you're interested in.

Love balls are one or two weighty balls that you wear inside the vagina. The weight means that you naturally tense your PC muscle to keep them in place, but remember - it's equally important to relax your pelvic floor. Many womxn tell us they find love balls pleasurable to wear during the day (like when doing housework or during a trip to the supermarket) as they'll be twirling around in response to your movements.

a hand holding three love balls in varying shades of purple

Learn more about love balls:

For the G-spot - the best sex toy for you is a G-spot vibrator or G-spot dildo, both specially shaped for G-spot pleasure

There are lots of discussions about whether or not the G-spot exists. To date, we don't believe there's been enough proper 'evidence' of this and prefer to go on personal research. It might be that we don't all respond in the same way but, whether it's part of the internal clitoris or indeed a special magical and elusive spot, many, many womxn reports a difference in sensations and orgasmic qualities that come from a place inside of the vagina when properly aroused.

With that in mind, we'll continue to call it the 'G-spot' and give advice that is gathered from talking to thousands of womxn over the years.

A  toy that has a curved or bulbous head is best suited to finding and stimulating the G-spot more easily and more comfortably. The G-spot responds to pressure and firm massage more than vibration, making glass dildos a great option for G-spot play. Also, the Sh! Honey G-spot silicone dildos are ergonomically curved to massage this special spot.

a hand holding a mid-size purple G-spot vibrator

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For Prostate pleasure - the best sex toy for you is a prostate massager 

Whilst we’re on the subject of ‘special spots,’ penis-owners have one of their their own called the prostate.

Located inside the bum, lots of men are discovering the amazing orgasmic capabilities of their prostate.

Like any toy destined for anal pleasure, it’s essential that a prostate massager or dildo has a safe, flared base or a loop handle. If it doesn’t, it’s not suitable for bum fun and should be reserved for vaginal play only.

Both G-spots and P-spots tend to respond to pressure and motion rather than vibration, which is why a silicone dildo is a great option.

an illustrated diagram of the male pelvis

Read more about prostates:

To enhance intercourse, the best choice for you is a couple's sex toy

Over 70% of women find orgasm difficult or downright impossible through penetration alone and adding a clitoral buzz helps. Using intercourse enhancing toys like We-Vibe Unite are specially designed to address this, and can be really helpful when it comes to bridging the orgasm gap.

Worn by the vagina-owner during penetrative sex, these C-shaped vibes hug the clitoris (the larger arm) and the G-spot (the smaller arm), whilst leaving room for your partner's penis or dildo too.

a hand holding a turqiose couples intercourse sex toy

Vibrating cock rings are also fun toys for couples. A c-ring is a stretchy ring that's worn at the base of the penis (hence the name 'cock ring'), where it delivers a sexy squeeze. The vibrating portion of the ring is designed to stimulate the clitoris during penetration, though the person wearing the ring will feel the thrills too.

Discrete toys such as fingertip vibrators or tongue vibrators are great if you want to introduce a sex toy to your partner. These are generally fairly purse-friendly and good to start off with.

Stylish designer vibrators are a good choice as they make non-threatening bed-fellows for couples to share and enjoy together.

a hand with a tiny green fingertip vibrator on a finger

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For backdoor pleasure - the best toy for you to choose is a specially designed anal toy

Things can get lost up the bum so it’s very important to use properly designed anal toys.

Whether beads, plugs or vibrators, all our toys for anal pleasure are super-smooth and safe, with bases or rings to safeguard them from slipping all the way inside.

The wide bases and hygienic material of silicone dildos also make great anal toys.

a hand holding a bright pink buttplug with 3 bubbles of increasing sizes

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For penis pleasure - the best toy for you is a male masturbator

Whether it's for him/them to enjoy solo or for the two of you to play with together, a masturbator is a great sex toy for penis-owners; it's a stimulating sleeve that will deliver the hand-job from heaven!

We don't stock any 'realistic' toys and this extends, of course, to our penile sex toys selection, so they make great gifts without stirring up any weird feelings about them being 'replacements' or 'replicas' for the 'real thing'.

a table with a douche and two tenga eggs in tiny china espresso cups

Read more about self-pleasure toys for penis-owners:

For strap-on sex - the best toy for you is a silicone dildo, teamed with a strap-on harness

For sex with a strap-on, whether as a lesbian couple or for pegging, the most popular and versatile option is to buy a harness and a separate dildo. We don't rate 'fused' strap-ons as one size most definitely doesn't fit all. (Fused strap-ons - where the dildo is permanently attached to a harness - are also really difficult to clean effectively.)

That's why we hand-produce our own range of harnesses and silicone dildos in our London studio, giving you a huge range of sizes so every preference is covered.

Sh! dildos are hand-poured in super-safe silicone and come in a range of over 30 different sizes, meaning there's a perfect dildo whatever your preference!

Or, if it all seems a bit overwhelming, why not opt for one of our Strap On Kits, which contain everything you need to get started?

Best Strap On Kit


For strap-on style sex without a harness -  the best toy for you is a strapless dildo

Strapless Strap-Ons offer a different way to enjoy strap-on sex; they require no harness but the wearer needs strong PC muscles! A strapless is better suited to close, intimate grinding rather than wild thrusting.

Read more about strap-ons:

Lube enhances all sex play!

Once you have chosen your toys, remember to add lube.

A good lube enhances all erotic play, reduces friction and makes everything you do super-sensual, whether with a lover or solo, using sex toys, hands or body to body. We promise you won’t regret it!

a hand squirting lube from a pump bottle

Read more about how to choose a lube:

Feeling more confident? Head over to our online shop!

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