Skip to content


Main Navigation

Q&A: Why Can't I Orgasm?

Q&A: Why Can't I Orgasm?

Hi Sh!,

I'm looking for a new sex toy. I have the Fun Factory Stronic Bi Fusion and although it worked for me at first,  it's now not doing the job. I now have a partner who's happy to use sex toys so that's not a problem but I'm finding it impossible to have an orgasm. I'm 58 and wondering if that's the problem although I think I have strong vaginal walls etc. I would be grateful if you could give me some ideas.

Hello there, thanks for getting in touch!

The Stronic Bi Fusion is a toy that offers deep vibrations and pulsing, thrusting sensations, so we’re guessing that this is the kind of intensity that works best for you.

Wand vibrators are recommended if you can't orgasm.

We think a wand could be a good option for you. Sexologists and sex educators often recommend this type of sex toy, as they are exceptionally orgasm-reliable.

The vibrations are deep and reverberate through the body, usually with joyous results!

The Sh! Wand massager offers 10 different settings designed to knock socks and panties off.

The Wand is rather large in size but surprisingly light to hold and manoeuvre. Place it on or near the lower part of your stomach before moving it closer to your clitoris. Take time to build up desire before attempting an explosive climax.

Cordless Wand vibrator in purple

We also swear by On Arousal Oil for orgasms.

This is a blend of delicious-smelling essential oils designed to perk up clits. A drop or two is all it takes for blood flow to increase and get juicy bits swelling. This helps with arousal and - dare we say it - doubles your chances of climax. Wowzers!

Strong PC Muscles are a plus, orgasm-wise!

The strength of your vaginal walls should be a plus ‚Äď the stronger the PC muscle, the stronger your orgasms usually are. Your age should not be a problem either ‚Äď orgasms are ageless!

Orgasms and your health

Your general health probably plays a part. Are you taking any medication that could affect libido, such as anti-depressants? If so, it could be an idea to discuss this with your doctor. There might be other, more suitable options that don't hamper your libido.

We're guessing you are menopausal, which can have an effect on how your body reacts to stimulation. Again, a chat with your doctor could be helpful, in case there's a hormonal imbalance that needs to be rectified.

Best of luck!

Love, Team Sh xx

Read more orgasm advice here!

Leave a comment

Please note, comments need to be approved before they are published.

New orgasmic toys!

Our newest sex toys & pleasure products...

Need any orgasm advice? Ask away...

more orgasm advice

Top 10 Tips for National Orgasm Day - Sh! Women's Store
Top 10 Tips for National Orgasm Day

National Orgasm Day, celebrated on the 31st of July, is something we should all be shouting Oh-Oh-Oooh about....

What Does an Orgasm Feel Like?
What Does an Orgasm Feel Like?

If you have never had an orgasm, the concept may seem baffling. How do you know if you've...

How to Masturbate & Up Your Orgasms Quota - Sh! Women's Store
How to Masturbate & Increase Your Orgasm Quota

If you've not yet taken time to explore self-love, it's high time to lock the door, pull the...

Best Sex Toy for Multiple Orgasms - Sh! Women's Store
Which Is The Best Sex Toy For Multiple Orgasms?

Read our advice on the best sex toy for multiple orgasms.

Your Questions about Squirting, Answered - Sh! Women's Store
What Is Squirting, And How Can I Learn How To Do It?

Squirting is something we're asked about a lot. Very little studied, argued as mythical (mostly...

Becoming Orgasmic Online Course - Sh! Women's Store
Becoming Orgasmic Online Course - Unlocking Your Sexual Potential

Our online sex course Becoming Orgasmic is specifically...

Closing Orgasm Gap - Sh! Women's Store
Close the Orgasm Gap - Women Deserve More Pleasure!

The orgasm gap is a name given to the statistical fact that women in heterosexual relationships enjoy...

Spicing Up Sex Positions Advice - Sh! Women's Store
Tips for Spicing Up Sex Positions

Most couples have their tried & tested go-to positions for sex. You start in one,...

How to Have Multiple Orgasms - Advice at Sh! Women's Store
How to Have And Enjoy Multiple Orgasms

Experiencing more than one orgasm during a single sex session is something many of us...

Q&A: Don't Orgasm During Penetration - Help at Sh! Women's Store
Q&A: I don't orgasm during penetration - what can I do?

Hi Sh! I would like some advice if you can. I never orgasm by penetration,...

Guide to Multiple Orgasms - Sh! Women's Store
A Quick Guide to Multiple Orgasms

Anyone who's ever experienced an orgasm knows just how ruddy marvellous they are: Your heart races, toes curls,...

Q&A: Sex & Arthritis
Q&A: Sex & Arthritis

Hi, Over the last 4 years, I have had issues with my joints. Despite this, until last year...

Q&A: Why Can't I Orgasm?
Q&A: Why Can't I Orgasm?

Hi Sh!, I'm looking for a new sex toy. I have the Fun Factory Stronic Bi...

Top 10 Orgasmic Sex Toys for National Orgasm Day - Sh! Women's Store
Top 10 Orgasmic Sex Toys for National Orgasm Day

Would you be surprised if we told you that National Orgasm Day on 31st of July...

Only One Orgasm - What Toys Do You Advise?
Q&A: I've Only Had an Orgasm-What Toys do you Advise?

Hi, I'd like to ask for your help in a serious...

Benefits of Sex - The Chemical Rewards of Sex & Orgasm
Benefits of Sex - The Chemical Rewards of Sex & Orgasm

We all know that sex is toe-curlingly, sheet-bitingly, and swooningly fantastic, but did...