This session was originally created for Café V, a support group for survivors of sexual violence, but the prompts shared here can be useful for anyone interested in writing their own erotica. The aim is to offer a safe, empowering space to explore your creativity and desires - whether you’re working through complex emotions or simply wanting to craft a fun, steamy story.
We understand that writing erotica is a personal journey, and it's important to approach it with care and comfort. If you ever feel triggered or overwhelmed by the process, remember that it’s okay to pause and practice self-care. You can always come back when you're ready xx
Ready? Let's get started!
Reading erotica and watching porn can be fun, sexy, and empowering - until it’s not. Sometimes, you’re all set for a relaxing evening, and then BAM! You stumble into words or scenes that are less 'ooh la la' and more 'oh no.' Triggering moments can zap the mood faster than someone knocking on your bedroom door mid-wank.
We’ve all been there. You download a steamy book or hit play on a promising video, only to realize the writing is cringe-worthy, the dialogue is stiff, or the actor is wearing socks (seriously, who approved this?). Meanwhile, the 'orgasming' actress looks like she’s counting down the minutes until she can clock off - or, perhaps more aptly, 'cock off.'.
But here’s the good news: you can craft your own fantasies, tailored precisely to your tastes and desires. Think of it as your very own bespoke smut factory, where you call the shots.
Children have wild imaginations - they can turn a stick into a magic wand or a cardboard box into a spaceship. Authors, too, are in the business of making stuff up all day long. Yet somewhere along the way, we grown-ups often lose touch with our ability to fantasize. Life gets busy (ugh, adulting), and suddenly, you find yourself at a two-year-old’s tea party, pretending to be the Queen sipping from an invisible cup, thinking, Why is this so hard?!
Reclaiming your imagination can be liberating - and even healing. Writing erotica isn’t just about spinning a hot yarn; it’s a chance to create a safe space where you control every detail, from the mood lighting to the emotional tone. You can explore desires, set boundaries, and craft scenarios that bring you joy and empowerment.
So, grab your pen (or keyboard), channel your inner Queen sipping imaginary tea, and let your imagination run wild. Whether it’s a swoon-worthy slow burn or an unapologetically filthy romp, your fantasy is yours to command.
Remember, there’s no right or wrong way to do this. The only rule? Make it your own - and have fun doing it!
Crafting Your Sexy Fantasy: Starting Small and Letting It Flow
Creating a fantasy can be incredibly fun, but getting started often feels like the hardest part. It’s easy to second-guess yourself or censor your thoughts, but the key is to let your mind wander freely. You might surprise yourself with the amazing stories it can conjure - if you give it the chance!
Maybe you’re thinking, I’m not that creative. Writing a sexy fantasy sounds way too hard. But here’s the secret: it doesn’t have to be. Break it down into small, manageable steps, and you’ll likely find that the story starts to write itself. You don’t need to begin with a grand, fully formed idea. Start small—a name, a word, a sentence. Any point of entry works, and from there, you can build your scenario bit by bit.
When I tried this recently, I was completely stuck at first. Then, I shifted my focus to something simple: the smells around me. In my fantasy, the scent of light summer rain stood out - fresh and green, with a subtle hint of summer flowers. That single detail became the spark, and before I knew it, the fantasy took on a life of its own.
The beauty of creating your own sexy story is that there’s no right or wrong way to do it. Start wherever feels natural, let your imagination roam, and watch as your unique fantasy unfolds.
Smell Your Way to a Sexy Fantasy
Scent memory is incredibly powerful - it can transport you back to a moment, a feeling, or even a whole mood in an instant. We all have everyday scents we love, and these can be a fantastic starting point for crafting your fantasy.
A quick poll in the Sh! office revealed some favorite scents:
- Cinnamon – warm and cozy, like fresh baking
- Vanilla – sweet, inviting, and comforting
- Strawberries – juicy and full of summer vibes
- Cotton – clean, crisp, and soothing
- Rain – fresh, earthy, and renewing
- Forest after the rain – lush, green, and grounding
- Fresh bread – irresistible and homey
These are just a few examples of scents that evoke feelings and memories. Thinking about how your fantasy smells can be a great way to kick things off. Does it smell warm and spicy? Cool and refreshing? Sweet and intoxicating? Let your nose guide your imagination - you might be surprised by where it leads!
Location, Location, Location: Setting the Scene for Your Fantasy
Where does your fantasy unfold? Are you indoors, cocooned in comfort, or outdoors, surrounded by nature? Let your inner eye take a panoramic view of your surroundings—what do you see?
Here are a few location ideas to spark your imagination:
- 5-star hotel – luxurious and indulgent
- Beach – sun-kissed and relaxing
- Home – cozy and familiar
- Jungle – wild and adventurous
- Big Brother House – voyeuristic and thrilling
Once you’ve chosen your setting, zoom in a little closer. If you’re in a 5-star hotel, what details stand out? Can you see the shimmering pool, the elegant bar, or staff gliding around in sharp uniforms? Where are you in this fantasy? Are you stretched out on a sun lounger, sipping a perfectly chilled cocktail, or tucked into a shaded corner, observing the scene?
When I created my own fantasy, the light summer rain transported me to the Swedish seaside. In my mind’s eye, there were happy, barefoot people singing along to the music and soaking up the carefree atmosphere. I didn’t know this was where my fantasy would take me until I let my brain wander and shape the details.
Your location is the backdrop to your story - so let it be as vivid and immersive as your imagination allows!
The Cast: Starring Whomever You Want
This is your fantasy, and you’re the casting director. Want to put yourself in the leading role? Go for it! Prefer to stay behind the scenes and focus on directing the action? That’s cool too.
So, who’s in your scene? Is it a woman, a man, or perhaps one of each? Maybe there are several characters, or maybe it’s just one person - or an alien! (Hey, it’s your fantasy; your imagination is the limit!)
Now, let’s dress the part - or not. Are your characters wearing clothes? Towels? Nothing at all? Picture the materials, textures, and colors. Is it silky, velvety, or the softness of well-worn denim? Maybe they’re in a sarong, tantalizingly easy to remove. Whatever you imagine them wearing - or not wearing - is exactly right.
What about their voices? Are they talking? If so, what are they saying? Maybe it’s flirty banter, sweet compliments, or an everyday conversation laced with hidden tension. Using positive, sensual language can bring your fantasy to life. Think of words like lushious, voluptuous, exciting, sultry, thrilling...
With the right cast, your fantasy will start to feel as real and vivid as you want it to be. So, lights, camera, imagination - let the scene unfold!
Time of Day: Setting the Mood
The time of day can add a whole new dimension to your fantasy. Are your characters in the middle of a busy workday, stealing glances across the office? Or are they letting loose in a nightclub, dancing under flashing lights? Maybe they’re feeling sleepy at bedtime, ready for languid, slow-burning passion. Or they’re wide awake and full of energy, bouncing on furniture with wild abandon.
Think about the light, too. Is the sun just rising, casting a soft glow over everything? Or is twilight settling in, wrapping the world in its sultry embrace?
You can get even more specific. Is it lunchtime or cocktail hour? Maybe your fantasy involves an ordinary moment turned extraordinary. Picture this: ordering a sandwich at the corner deli, your eyes meet across the counter, and suddenly your thoughts take a detour into very rude territory - perhaps inspired by the fresh baguettes...
The time of day sets the tone and rhythm of your scene. Whether it’s sleepy mornings, sultry evenings, or an unexpected midday spark, let it guide the flow of your fantasy.
Is Anyone Having Sex? (Spoiler: Only If You Want Them To)
Just because you’re building a sexual fantasy doesn’t mean there has to be sex happening right now - or even at all. Maybe your characters are just cuddling, sitting close, or making lingering eye contact that speaks volumes. Perhaps there’s coy flirting or gentle touching, but no actual sex. Sometimes, the almost-touching-but-not-quite can be the most tantalizing part of all.
Remember, this is your fantasy. There’s no sex until you decide it’s time.
But if you do want there to be sex, what kind of scene are you envisioning?
- Romantic – soft, sweet, and full of affection
- 'Dirty' – bold, unapologetic, and explicit
- Vocal – filled with moans, whispers, or passionate exclamations
- Quiet – intimate, intense, and almost silent
- Tame – gentle and restrained
- Wild – raw, uninhibited, and full of energy
Whatever pace or tone you choose, let it unfold in a way that feels right to you. It’s your story, your rules - so take your time and enjoy every moment.
Details, Details: Positions and Toys
Are your characters in a certain position or using sex toys? If so, why did you choose this particular setup? Is it their favorite position, something that always gets them going, or are they exploring something new and exciting for the first time?
Think about the tone of the scene. Is the sex explicit, raw, and passionate, or is it gentler and more emotionally intimate? Both approaches can be incredibly fulfilling - it’s all about what resonates with your fantasy.
Whether it’s about the thrill of trying out a new toy, the comfort of a familiar favorite, or the emotional connection of something softer and more romantic, these details can help bring your story to life. Let them reflect the unique energy you want your fantasy to have.
What Are Their Orgasms Like?
In your fantasy, the orgasms are probably out of this world - intense, fulfilling, and utterly mind-blowing. But what do they feel like? Describe the sensations, how their bodies move, the expressions on their faces. Are their eyes open, locked in an intimate gaze, or closed, lost in the moment? These small, vivid details can make your story even juicier and more immersive.
And don’t forget the after-play. What happens once the climax has passed? Are they cuddling, kissing, or dozing off in a blissful haze? Maybe hunger strikes - because let’s be real, great sex has a way of making people ravenous. Perhaps there’s a moment of shared intimacy over snacks: biting into a ripe, juicy pear in a way that feels downright seductive, or drizzling honey onto fresh bread that could easily lead to more fun on the kitchen counter.
Using these prompts can help you create a richly detailed and deeply personal fantasy to enjoy. Write it out on fancy paper, in a private diary, or print it to keep handy for those moments when you want a little extra inspiration to get your juices flowing.
TRIGGER WARNING
We want to acknowledge that some readers may find the following paragraphs triggering. If this is the case, please stop reading, and prioritize self-care. Take a break, have a cup of tea, or reach out to a friend—or do both! You can always return to this part when you're ready. Your well-being comes first.
Rape Fantasies: Understanding the Complexity
Rape fantasies are more common than people often realize, yet they can also feel unsettling, even 'wrong' - and this is true for survivors as well as individuals who have not experienced assault. For many, such fantasies can clash with core values, including feminist perspectives and ideals of equality within relationships. It's natural to feel conflicted or even disgusted by these fantasies.
For some survivors, these fantasies may be a way of processing trauma - an attempt to regain control over a situation, to reframe the experience in a way that is more manageable or less overwhelming. For others, it’s purely a sexual exploration. The thought of rough sex or being taken against one's will can be a turn-on, and it can easily be romanticized or experienced as part of a fantasy about passion and intensity.
Many women feel guilt or shame about these types of fantasies, wondering if they are somehow 'asking' to be assaulted. It’s essential to understand that there is a significant difference between creating and enjoying a fantasy in your mind and experiencing sexual assault in real life.
In a fantasy, you have complete power and control. You decide when, how, and who is involved. You control the details - the appearance, the sensations, the actions. Every moment is within your hands.
In real life, the dynamics are vastly different. Consent is the foundation of every real encounter. In a situation where you haven’t given consent, everything that happens is outside of your control, which is why it’s considered non-consensual.
If rape fantasies are causing distress or confusion, speaking to a psychosexual therapist may be helpful. A therapist can help untangle complex emotions and direct these thoughts in ways that feel more comfortable.
Having rape fantasies does not make you 'wrong' or 'broken.' Many people enjoy exploring these kinds of fantasies, and it doesn’t mean you want them to manifest in real life. Fantasy is about control, and it’s perfectly valid to enjoy imagining scenarios that excite or thrill you in a safe, consensual space.
Remember, there is no shame in any fantasy, including those that might be disturbing or challenging. It’s crucial to honor your desires, explore them in a safe and controlled way, and understand that exploring fantasies doesn’t mean endorsing them in real life.
