Placeholder Q&A: Is My Dildo Too big? Advice at Sh! Women's Store

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Q&A: Is My Dildo Too big?

Q&A: Is My Dildo Too big?

Hello, I'm so glad I can ask for advice. I feel a little embarrassed and don't want to even tell my best friend. I recently ordered a dildo from your store to be shipped to the U.S. I ordered a large one because I thought it would be more filling and satisfying to try. I was having sexual urges to be filled. Mind you, I haven't been sexually active in 10 years, still flying solo and didn't realize how tight I would be from years of inactivity.

I tried inserting my dildo but it is so painful I cannot even get the tip in. I added some of the lube that came with my order but still it really hurts and I cannot proceed. I have a really small vibrator but it's too thin and never satisfied me. Now I think the girth is too large on my toy. I never had a problem with pain when I was sexually active in my younger years.

I'm 38 years old now and had mostly female partners until I went celibate 10 years ago. Do you have any tips? If a vagina can open for a baby, why can't i enjoy my masturbation? I just had a physical with my doctor too and she had to check my vaginal canal by inserting her fingers. We both agreed everything felt normal. Thanks for any tips!

Hello there,

Many thanks for your email!

On this occasion, it may be that your eyes and fantasies were a bit bigger than your vagina - this can sometimes happen.

The best way of gauging size is by using your fingers: How many fingers feel just right? One, two, three, or more? That's the size toy to choose! This is tricky when looking at photos on a website, but you can call us, and we'll be happy to help with sizing.

Twista 2 Silicone Dildo

Rather than just throwing away your new toy, you could try this: Start your play session by using your fingers and lube until you feel ready for penetration. Your body will tell you when this happens; you'll recognize it as a deep ache of wanting to be filled. When this happens, the vagina expands to make space for "more." Invite your smaller-size vibe to join you, and tease yourself into a rampant state of readiness.

At this point, and only at this point, try introducing your new dildo. 

Try different positions - it could be that you are more "open" when sitting on top, or with your knees pulled up to your chest. If it's still uncomfortable, the dildo is likely too large for you. The idea with a dildo is that you should feel filled and perhaps a little stretched, but it shouldn't be uncomfortable or painful.

Sometimes it could be the shape of the dildo - does it have a round, blunt tip? If so, a tapered tip dildo may work better for you.

Another thing to remember is that our bodies change as we get older. The vaginal membranes naturally start to thin out, and the vagina becomes drier and tighter - this is perfectly normal. Use lots of lube, and work on your arousal before attempting penetration.


Good luck!
Team Sh xx

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