We've got a bone to pick, babes.
We recently found ourselves with a group of newly out and some not-yet-out women.
If you are unsure, "out" is commonly used for someone who has made their LGBTQIA+ status known to family, friends, or colleagues. It's someone living openly or partly openly as lesbian, gay, queer, pan, bi, trans or non-binary.
Anyway. Also amid this group was a woman with a firmly established lesbian identity. Her friends & family know about her sexual preferences, as do her boss and colleagues. She lives and works in London, surrounded by other lesbian friends. She is living her best life, and one could argue that this makes her somewhat privileged.
Now, the woman in question had an excellent opportunity to be a source of information, sharing her knowledge of the hottest lez bars, communities and queer-friendly shops. She could have made some new friends!
But this is not what she chose to do.
Instead, she chose to throw shade at the group of women, shaming them for being inexperienced newbies.
This upset us greatly.
We have met so many women who have come out in their later years, and it's not unusual for these women to apologise for this.
Let's ponder that - apologising for not having been out & proud your whole life? As if it's shameful to discover or accept your true self once you've passed your 30s?
As we evolve and grow, so do our desires.
At Sh!, we know that sexuality is fluid and we celebrate all flavours of it.
Sometimes it is about gender. Other times it's about an individual.
Perhaps a person is unsure about their preferences, or maybe they have just started to come to terms with their sexuality. Or, it may be unsafe for them to be openly gay.
Any variations of those (and many more) apply - none of us has the right to judge or shame someone for not being as open, out and living as autentically as we may be...