Squirting is something we're asked about a lot. Very little studied, argued as mythical (mostly by male doctors) and awash in a million porn films (where you'd believe that every woman can squirt buckets), squirting is shrouded in mystery and misconception. With a whole load of pressure and measuring-up thrown in.
From talking in length and detail to thousands of women, we're using our own empirical research to answer the most common squirting questions:
- What is squirting?
- How can I do it?
But first, a word on squirting goals...
We approve of gushes of sex fluid becoming normalized, but we're not fans of the pressure to squirt purely for ego-boosting reasons. We've lost count of the number of boyfriends & husbands who have asked us how to 'make' their partner squirt. They are often surprised when we ask if they have discussed this with their partner and if she is interested in exploring this. There have been far too many occasions where her involvement and interest are secondary.
Porn makes squirting seem very 'easy' and gives the illusion of squirting being 'better' than other kinds of pleasure. Many heterosexual men are labouring under the false belief that 'making' someone squirt means they're excellent lovers. There is, of course, a whole lot more to sex and pleasure than a gush of fluids.
'Guys feel really proud of themselves when I squirt. I'm like, dude that was all ME!'
No doubt some menfolk are blessed with magic fingers, tongues or dongles, but for most women & vulva-owners, squirting can and does happen without men in the room. Or house. Or vicinity. (Sorry to burst that particular bubble for you, lads!)
So, if you're hoping to learn how to 'make' another person squirt by reading this article, you may as well stop reading now as we don't want to waste your time!
Squirting, female ejaculation or pee?
There is no scientific evidence that 100% backs up what we’re about to share, so make it what you will. Your personal experiences may lead you to agree or disagree with us. Here’s what we think:
After hearing thousands of women & vulva owners speak about their experiences over three decades, we believe squirting and female ejaculation to be two different phenomena. Many folks use the terms interchangeably, but we’ll explain why we think they’re not one and the same.
- Squirting fluid comes from the Skene’s glands located on the front wall of the vagina, surrounding the urethra. This fluid contains traces of urea and creatine but isn’t urine.
- Female ejaculate is a creamy, white-ish fluid released from the Bartholin’s glands located just inside the opening of the vagina. According to this 2011 study, female ejaculate contains some of the same components as semen, including prostate-specific antigen (PSA).
For either or both to occur, intense arousal is crucial. Position and technique are also essential but vary from one vulva to another. Some peeps squirt or ejaculate from clitoral play, while others need internal stimulation for a prolonged period.
But, until more time and money is spent on the scientific study of the female body and how it reacts to pleasurable stimulation, squirting and female ejaculation remain mysteries.
Does ejaculation/squirting always mean orgasm?
Ejaculation, squirting, and orgasm can happen simultaneously, or you may experience one without another. For some, the expulsion of fluids has nothing to do with orgasms at all. Some women & vulva owners feel that ejaculation or squirting doesn’t add to their orgasms at all. They experience pleasurable sensations, and it’s a release, but the orgasm doesn’t score higher on the richer scale if they also squirt or ejaculate.
So, if you never squirt or ejaculate, your orgasms aren’t 'less'.
How much squirting fluid is normal?
There is no such thing as a 'normal' amount of fluids – only what’s normal for you.
Some peeps squirt or ejaculate only a few drops and may not even be aware of doing it. Others produce far more liquids, and after-play cleanup is necessary.
Watching porn will have us believe that projectile squirting copious amounts of fluids is the norm, but don’t forget that porn is created for visual stimulation. In reality, there may be trickling, spurting or gushing. Some do squirt volumes, like world record holder Lola Jean, but she an exception – a sexual Olympian!
Can you squirt too much?
If it feels pleasurable, then no! But we do know many customers and friends find their fountains of fluid to be a bit of a nuisance. Or like a friend puts it:
“Once you’ve turned the tap on, it’s tricky to turn it off again.”
What she means is, squirting can be messy, and you have to plan ahead. It can be tricky if you’re staying over at someone’s house (like parents or in-laws) and want to have sex. It’ll mean soggy sheets and a damp mattress which is awkward to explain.
There are special squirting blankets you can use to help soak up the fluids, but they are pricey. We recommend using towels or puppy pads instead. Towels go in the washing machine, and puppy pads can be disposed of – easy peasy!
Can everyone squirt?
Great question, and if you’ve read this far, you’re no doubt interested in the answer.
Unfortunately, we’re going to have to leave you unsatisfied. We don’t know the answer. Sorry.
Again, from our many, long conversations about it, there seem to be two main ways for women & vulva owners to squirt or female ejaculate and the KEY is engaging your pelvic floor during sexual activity:
- Squeezing the pelvic floor tight and pulling it up
- Releasing the pelvic floor and pushing outwards
It seems to us that those who squirt regularly are the ones who release and push out. Also, you need to not be afraid of letting go. Tightening the pelvic floor to “hold it in” is the opposite of allowing what will be to…be.
Let it flow!
We have also found that some can squirt almost on cue (now that’s a party trick!), and others have seemingly no control over it. For some, it happens regularly, whereas others squirt once in a blue moon…
Which sex toys are best for squirting?
Suction toys are popular with those who squirt regularly. There is something very seductive about the way the air technology stimulates not only the outer part of the clitoris but also the sensitive internal parts. Especially the Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation has been credited for many unexpected first gushes!
Glass dildos are super-popular for those who like or need internal stimulation for squirting. The firmness of glass dildos is fantastic for squeezing and releasing the pelvic floor muscles around, which we believe contributes to the possibility of squirting.
Steel dildos are the third most popular style of sex toy for the squirters we know. Sex toys made of steel are sleek and weighty and offer incredible pressure against the internal erogenous zones.
1 comment
Interesting article, I agree with what you say about the pelvic floor being involved. For me it also helps to have pressure on my mound of venus, like a flat palm.