Skip to content


Main Navigation

Q&A: What Sex Toy Should I Buy My Wife?

Q&A: What Sex Toy Should I Buy My Wife? - Sh! Women's Store

Hi, my wife's birthday is soon and I'm thinking of buying her a new toy (for both of us to enjoy). I've seen porn where people are using wand massagers and I have read that they are the best toy to stimulate the clitoris, which is the only way my wife cums. However, I am a bit worried it might be too intense?

It's a lot of money to spend on a toy and I want to be sure it's the right thing. Will she like it? It's not like I can take it back if she doesn't...Thanks!

Hey there, 

Many thanks for getting in touch!

Wand vibrators are hugely popular, and sexuality educators swear by them.

Wands massagers were originally designed for all-over body massaging, but the late, great sexuality educator Betty Dodson soon found what else they do - and the rest is clitoral history!

The deep, throbby vibration of a wand vibrator is very reliable for pleasure. This type of vibration is especially good for women who struggle to orgasm. Although wands are purely external toys, the powerful buzz also stimulates the internal clitoris. Having a wand buzzing away on the clit can be a surefire way to orgasm.

Wand massagers are super-intense, and this is why they are so popular.

We recommend using the vibrator on the area around the vulva, not directly on the clitoris. With 10.000+ nerve-ending on the tip of the clit, a wand may be far too powerful for direct clit play. 

Instead, place the wand massager on the lower part of the stomach. This is incredibly sexy as the rumbles travel down to the genitals. 

Another tip is to place a small pillow between the clit and the wand - the cushion vibrates but delivers softer vibrations. 

Different types of wand vibrators

Some massagers like Doxy are pricey (but worth it). They remain plugged in and deliver unrivalled power. The only thing with a full-size wand is that they can look intimidating.

It might be an idea to start with something smaller, like BelleBelle massager is a petite and lightweight wand, but still designed for intense clit play. This is a USB rechargable option, and very popular with vibrator newbies. 

belle wand massager in black silicone


It may be an idea to find out what type of vibrator your wife might like before placing your order. It can be tricky to buy a vibrator for someone else, which is why getting a Sh! Gift Voucher is such a great idea. You're sure to get her something she'll enjoy!

Pleasure guarantee

We can't guarantee that your wife will love the vibrator you buy for her. We can confidently say that the cherry-picked sex toys we sell deliver pleasure to thousands of women, but as each woman is individual and unique, we cannot guarantee every toy will work for every woman.

Fun sex is about discovering what's enjoyable and pleasurable for you and your partner, and a Wand can certainly help with this!

Good luck!
Team Sh! xx

Read more advice on wand vibrators here!

Leave a comment

Please note, comments need to be approved before they are published.


The vibes our customers love...

Need any vibe advice? Ask away...

more vibrator advice

Q&A: What's the Best Vibrator? - Sh! Women's Store
Q&A: What's the Best Vibrator?

Dear Sh! My girlfriend and I...

What Is The Best First Vibrator For A Newbie?
What Is The Best First Vibrator For A Newbie?

Dear Team Sh!  My friend has recommended you. I'm in a 'situationship' but it's nothing serious. We have...

Sex Toy Review: Evie Tapping Vibe with Vibrating Love Ball
Sex Toy Review: Evie Tapping Vibe with Vibrating Love Ball

Read our toy tester's sex toy review of Evie Dual Vibe with an...