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Do Women Prefer Their Dildos Larger Than Their Partner's Penis?

Do women prefer their sex toys (dildos) larger than their partner? - Sh! Women's Store

Hi Sh! 

I have an awkward question. I want to buy my girlfriend a dildo, but I'm unsure of the best size. My penis is...not big. My girlfriend says she's not into large d*cks, but I'm not sure I believe her. Bigger is better, isn't it? Should I get her a big dildo? 

Hi there, 

Thanks for getting in touch! 

We've been asked this question many times - and always from male customers. Women are, believe it or not, less preoccupied with size. 

Do big dildos give more pleasure? 

Honestly? Bigger doesn't necessarily mean better.

Size is subjective. For some, a big-size dildo will be all their Christmases and birthdays rolled into one - but for others... Their worst nightmare.

But what is 'big' anyway? Porn may show huge toys shoved into willing orifices, but remember that the actresses are sexual athletes. They may have been prepping for that scene for a long time.

For someone who isn't a sexual athlete, 'big' might be two or three fingers' worth of girth.

Vaginas come in different sizes

Just like penises, vaginas come in a variety of sizes. Some are narrow, and others are wider. Some vaginas are long, and others are shorter. We have customers who know they need a large-size dildo to feel fulfilled and satisfied. Other customers buy the smallest size dildo because that is what feels best for them. 

The great thing about dildos is that you can pick any size or shape that seems fun. It's about finding a dildo size that works for you - or the person who will be enjoying it. 

Our advice is to trust your girlfriend when she says the size of your penis is enough for her. 

We wouldn't advise going bigger unless she has specifically said she'd like a dildo that is longer or girthier. Instead, choose something with similar dimensions as your penis, or perhaps a tad smaller. Sex toys don't bend and move the same way as a penis. A sex toy that is too big will be uncomfortable and not sexy to play with. 

Buying a sex toy gift 

So, we know you want to buy a dildo for your girlfriend. Can we ask if she has mentioned wanting to explore internal toys before? And has she shared whether she's curious about vibration or would prefer a non-vibrating toy for penetrative pleasures?

There are so many fun toys to choose from, and we recommend taking some time to find out what she's interested in trying before making your purchase. We're not saying to not buy a dildo - far from it! We're saying: Take time to explore the options to ensure you get a toy that she'll love playing with.

Silicone dildos

Silicone dildos are a very body-friendly choice. They are non-porous and hypoallergenic, which means they are easy to clean. Silicone warms up to body temperature and is firm yet flexible. In use, slimmer silicone dildos will follow the natural curve of the vagina, making play super-comfortable. 

All our hand-poured dildos come as vibrating dildos too. These are perfect if you think your girlfriend would like a thrilling buzz :) The vibrating dildos feature small vibrating bullets that can be inserted into the dildo base - or enjoyed for clits and nipples. 

Honey G-Spot Dildo in Blue Marble Silicone

Glass dildos

Glass dildos are gorgeous but perhaps not the best option for newbies. Glass is a material that is unyielding, which means it's an acquired taste. Like silicone, glass toys are non-porous and hypoallergenic. Glass is fun for temperature play, as it can be warmed up or cooled down. 

A hand holding a pale pink glass dildo

Steel dildos

Steel sex toys are super-smooth and sexy to play with. However, like glass, steel doesn't bend, and we'd recommend this material for more experienced sex toy aficionados. Steel toys are an investment but last *forever*

A hand holding a stainless steel dildo

Anal dildos

Is your girlfriend into anal play? If so, you might like to choose a dildo that can be used for anal sex as well. Any toy destined for the butt must have a flared base or handle to ensure it doesn't get sucked up into the rectum. 

All our handmade dildos are safe for anal play, thanks to their heart-shaped bases, 

 A pink and white marbled silicone dildo with ribs, standing on a mirror with fairy lights behind.


Sometimes, when customers say 'dildo', they mean vibrator. This isn't a big deal, but we want to cover all bases. 

A dildo is a toy that is made for penetrative pleasures. They are usually designed without vibration (though we offer vibrating dildos, as mentioned above) and can be used handheld or in a strap-on.

vibrator is a sex toy with a motor. These can be for clitoral use, G-spot play or dual stimulation options. 

 Vibrator collection; Rabbit vibe, suction vibe and slim vibrator

Also, before we sign off, we want to remind you top get a bottle of lube. Lube enhances all sex toy play, making it slippery, slidey and comfortable. 

Good luck! 

Best Wishes, 
Team Sh! xx

More advice on sex toy gift giving here.

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