Dear Sh!
I'd love to have anal sex with my wife, but I don't know how to bring the subject up. She's enjoyed one or two fingers used anally, but I'm not sure how to move on to the next stage! Have you got any suggestions?
Hi there,
Thanks for getting in touch!
Communication is key in all anal play
First - do talk to her about it. If you'd love to have anal sex with her - tell her! (But don't pressure her). Whisper to her that just the idea of having anal sex with your wife is a huge turn-on for you, and then gauge her reaction. As she likes fingers, she may well be very open to the idea of going further.
Lube is essential for anal sex
An essential ingredient for sensual and pleasurable anal play is lubricant.
Unlike the vagina, the anus doesn't produce its own lubrication, so penetration without lube is too dry, and thus too sore, to be fun. Choose a lube specially formulated for anal play, because it will be long-lasting.
Anal sex is a slow, sensual journey
Anal sex has a bad reputation because there is an assumption that it will always hurt. In actual fact, anal sex should never hurt. If it does, it means things are progressing too fast for the anal muscles to fully relax and things aren't wet enough.
The best way for anal newbies is to be fully in charge of pace and depth. A good idea may be to invest in a dildo - maybe something a little bigger than your fingers - so she can try it out without any pressure.
Our customers love the Wirly 2 silicone dildo as a beginner's toy for anal play. It's sensually ribbed, and it's slim enough not to be intimidating and scary.
The key to good anal sex is open communication - so before you break out the toys, it's crucial to discuss the idea of exploring anal sex together.
Hope this helps!
Best Wishes,
Team Sh! xx
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