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Q&A: Help! I want a toy to grind on during sex

Q&A: Help! I want a toy to grind on during sex

Hello there!

I’m looking for a toy that I can use as a woman whilst on top during sex. I have never been able to orgasm from penetration alone. I never really liked being on top before either except with my new partner! So it’s new territory. I’d really like to get a small, flattish (if that exists) vibrator I can put between us to grind on. If you have a suggestion for a toy that would work for this point me in the right direction. Thanks!

Hi there, many thanks for your email.

This is a common question, and as most women (about 75%) need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, it makes perfect sense that you need something a little extra for the clit during penetration. Thankfully, this is our area of expertise, and we have some great options for you!

Vibrators to use during penetration

Mini Marvelous Lover is a super-cute vibrator with a flat-ish end. The leaf shape will fit in between the two of you, giving you something to grind against. With 10 different settings to explore, you have plenty of thrills to enjoy.

The slim arm can be used in many ways. Simply lay along the labia for teasing vibes up and down the entire area, or slip inside for focused G-spot play.

A pink vibrator with non-identical ends. One end is shaped like a leaf and the other end is rounded.


Wearable intercourse vibrator for couples

Lelo Tiani 3, a wearable couples vibe is rated 5-stars and should be on your list of products for consideration.

A couples massager designed to be worn during penetration, this luxe sex toy offers hands-free clitoral & G-spot stimulation during intercourse. The small bullet sits over the clitoral area, and the slim arm easily slips inside the vagina so you can enjoy the vibrations together.

Lelo Tiani 3 couples vibrator plus remote control in black silicone


Hands-free strap-on vibrator 

Wireless Venus Butterfly is an oldie but a goodie, a classic hands-free vibrator that is still popular with couples.

This wearable, strap-on vibe is ideal for providing pleasurable stimulation, particularly if you or your partner have trouble holding or gripping a vibrator for any length of time. Worn like a pair of panties, but with the added vibration against the clitoral mound, you get the benefit of thrills in all the right places during penetration.

(This one is also fun to wear whilst doing the housework!)

a purple venus butterfly vibrator with straps to go around the thighs. a silver bullet vibrator.


Vibrating cock ring for couples

Doppio Flexxio is another great hands-free sex toy for couples.

You can use Flexxio in several ways: 

  • A flat vibrator
  • Bent into an L-shape that stimulates both the G-spot and clitoris 
  • Widened and slipped over a penis or dildo as a vibrating cock ring

Simply position the vibrating pad where it works best for you, and grind away!

a doppio flexxio vibrator in matte blue silicone

We hope this helps - have fun!


Team Sh! xx

If you have any questions or would like any advice about sex toys, please email us at

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