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Q&A: Help! I Always Finish Before My Girlfriend

Q&A: Help! I Always Finish Before My Girlfriend - Sh! Women's Store

Hi, this feels a little weird talking to someone else about my problem. Me and my girlfriend have been together for a few months now and we both have a high sex drive. I seem to cum far too quick when we have sex and I feel uncomfortable because I want to give my girlfriend something back. Like I want her to enjoy it more. What advice would you give to make the experience more pleasurable for her and not just me. Thanks! 

Hi ya,

Thank you for your email!

There’s no need to feel uncomfortable. It’s great that you are asking this question and thinking about enhancing your girlfriend's enjoyment of your sex life!

Many men worry that they are climaxing too soon, but this is not necessarily a problem. There are many other ways to ensure your girlfriend enjoys sex.

Generally speaking, men tend to come more quickly and easily from penetrative sex than women. A study of 500 couples from five different countries found the average time between a man putting his penis into his partner’s vagina and ejaculation was around five-and-a-half minutes. Most women will take around 20 minutes to come, and many women will not come at all without clitoral stimulation. 70-80% of women have difficulty orgasming from penetration alone.

First of all, concentrate on lots of play and stimulation for her before penetration. If possible, ensure your girlfriend has an orgasm from oral sex or by using a vibrator on her clitoris and vulva before penetration. This will mean you won’t have to worry so much about cumming too quickly, plus it's possibly an easier way for your girlfriend to orgasm. 

Vibrating cock rings for couples

Also, a vibrating cock ring could be a great solution. This is a sex toy for you to wear around your penis, letting her grind against it during penetration. A cock ring won't slow you down, but it will likely speed her up. We recommend that she goes on top, as this position allows her to grind against the vibration.

It's also important to incorporate lubrication into all sexual play. Lube enhances sensations and makes all play feel really great.

Vibrating cock ring in black

With regards to slowing down how quickly you ejaculate, you could try a stop and start technique where you intersperse sex with other fun kinds of stimulation for your girlfriend. 

You could try masturbating an hour or so before sex or even using thicker condoms to help reduce sensation (never use two condoms as they're likelier to break). Taking a deep breath when you feel like you are about to come can inhibit your ejaculatory function and hold things off for a bit.

However, penetration is not the be-all and end-all of sex. There are many other ways for you to give back to your girlfriend.

As you’re looking for tips on making sex better for your girlfriend, it would be great if you could talk to her about what she enjoys. How does she get herself off? Does she masturbate with toys? This is a great starting point for working out what you can do to ensure she is having as much fun as possible. 

Good luck! 

Best Wishes,

Team Sh! xx

Read more sex advice for M/F couples here.

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