At Sh!, we’ve been helping people explore pegging for decades — including long before the word pegging became part of our everyday sexual vocabulary.
So, how did pegging get its name, why did it become so popular, and what do you need if you fancy exploring it? Grab a cuppa and read on...
Where Does Pegging Come From?
The term pegging was popularised in 2001 after sex-advice columnist Dan Savage asked readers to help name the act of a woman using a strap-on to anally penetrate a male partner.
The activity itself, of course, was nothing new.
What was changing was the conversation around who gets to penetrate, who gets to receive and what any of that supposedly says about our gender or sexuality.
For a long time, strap-ons were predominantly associated with lesbian and queer sex. At the same time, heterosexual sex was often presented with some pretty rigid roles: men penetrated, women received, and enjoying anal stimulation could come loaded with completely unnecessary assumptions about sexuality.
Thankfully, pleasure doesn't pay much attention to those rules.
Sh! Was Talking About Pegging Before It Was Called Pegging
One of our earliest signs that attitudes were changing came in the late 1990s, during the heyday of the lads' mags.
FHM journalist Grub Smith and his girlfriend came to Sh! for a strap-on. He was planning an article about experiencing anal penetration for the first time, and they needed some expert help choosing the right kit.
As makers and sellers of strap-ons, that meant coming to us.
We can't promise you the precise date — this was nearly three decades ago — but we do remember expecting the resulting article to be played largely for laughs.
We were wrong.
Grub wrote surprisingly sensitively about both his anxiety and his pleasure. At a time when men's sexual roles were still particularly rigid, seeing a mainstream men's magazine discuss a man enjoying anal pleasure was quite a moment.
And it helped challenge an assumption we still occasionally encounter today: enjoying anal penetration doesn't determine anyone's sexuality.
Why Do People Enjoy Pegging?
Sometimes pegging includes power exchange, role reversal or fantasies around dominance and submission — and if everyone involved is enthusiastically into that, fabulous.
But it doesn't have to mean any of those things.
For many partners, pegging is simply about pleasure, intimacy, curiosity and exploring a different way of having sex together.
The anus and rectum contain plenty of sensitive nerve endings, making anal stimulation pleasurable for people of all genders.
And if the receiving partner has a prostate, pegging can provide another rather compelling source of sensation. The prostate can be stimulated through the rectum, and a suitably shaped dildo can provide targeted pressure and massage.
For the person wearing the strap-on, being the penetrating partner can offer a completely different physical and psychological experience too. You can explore movement, control and sensation from a new perspective while keeping your hands free for plenty of additional touching.
There doesn't need to be a deeper meaning attached to any of it.
Sometimes something feels good because it feels good.
What Do You Need for Pegging?
Your basic pegging set-up is refreshingly simple:
- A comfortable strap-on harness
- A compatible, anal-safe strap-on dildo
- Plenty of water-based lube
You can buy your harness and dildo separately and create a combination tailored to your bodies, or choose a pegging strap-on kit containing compatible pieces if you'd rather take some of the guesswork out of getting started.
Whichever route you choose, comfort and control matter far more than having the biggest or most impressive-looking equipment.
Choosing a Dildo for Pegging
If you're buying your first pegging dildo, don't be afraid to start small.
Girth is particularly important for anal penetration. A dildo that looks relatively slim in your hand can feel considerably fuller once inserted, so beginners will generally have a happier introduction to pegging with a slimmer size.
Length is slightly different.
When a dildo is fitted into a harness, some of its usable length is lost. You also need enough length for comfortable movement without the dildo constantly slipping out of the receiving partner.
For that reason, a slightly longer, slimmer dildo can often be a better pegging choice than something short and thick.
Sh! silicone dildos have our wide heart-shaped bases, making them anal-safe and compatible with our strap-on harnesses. With lots of sizes, shapes and curves to choose from, you can start gently and change your dildo as your experience and tastes develop.
Don't Forget the Lube
If there's one pegging accessory we'd never skip, it's lube.
The rectum doesn't self-lubricate, so generous lubrication is essential for comfortable anal penetration.
Apply plenty to both the dildo and receiving partner before you start, and keep the bottle nearby. If you notice any dragging or friction, stop and add more.
For Sh! silicone dildos, we recommend a good water-based lube. It's compatible with silicone toys and can easily be reapplied throughout play.
And take your time. Anal pleasure should be a gradual journey rather than a race towards penetration.
Pegging Isn't a Performance
First-time pegging can involve a bit of trial and error.
The person wearing the harness is learning how to control something attached to their pelvis. The receiving partner is discovering which depths, angles and movements feel good. And both of you may be trying positions you've never attempted before.
Dildos slip out. Harnesses need adjusting. Positions that looked fabulous in your imagination turn out to require the flexibility of a circus performer.
None of that means you're doing it wrong.
Start slowly, guide the dildo with your hand, keep communicating and let the receiving partner have plenty of control over depth and pace while you're finding your groove.
And if you both end up laughing? That's allowed too.
Our Pegging Strap-On Kit
If choosing separate pieces feels a little overwhelming, our Pegging Strap-On Kit takes care of the compatibility question for you.
We've put together some of our tried-and-tested pegging favourites, including a comfortable handmade harness, beginner-friendly anal dildo, lubricant and sex toy cleaner.
Because the dildo and harness are separate rather than permanently fused together, your set-up can evolve with you. You can change dildo size or shape later while continuing to use the harness you already know and love.
It's an easy starting point for anyone ready to discover what pegging pleasure is all about.
Pegging Is for Pleasure
A lot has changed since Grub Smith walked through the doors of Sh! in the late '90s — and we're rather pleased about that.
Pegging doesn't determine your sexuality. Receiving doesn't determine your gender role. Wearing a strap-on doesn't automatically make you dominant, and being penetrated doesn't make you submissive.
Those things can absolutely be part of the fun if you want them to be.
Or you can forget the labels altogether.
Talk about what turns you on, choose toys that work for your bodies, use plenty of lube and explore at your own pace.
After all, we've spent decades helping people discover that pleasure doesn't need to follow somebody else's rules.
