Dear Sh!
My partner and I have been together for 4 years and have been enjoying a busy sexual life until last night, when I couldn't penetrate her when we moved through to the bedroom. Before that she was fine, well lubed and happy, but when she was on the bed she said it felt like I was stretching her and that it felt like it was burning and dry.
We use coconut oil as lube and have done for 3 years and we both had a sexual health check when we started going out.
Thank you!
Hi there,
So sorry to hear your partner is experiencing pain during sex - those are never fun moments.
We'd suggest she gets herself checked out. Her vaginal pH balance may be disrupted by the coconut oil (or something else, like washing powder or bath oils).
Coconut oil is a popular substitute for sexual lubricant. We've had customers ask whether they should ditch sex shop lube and head to the nearest supermarket for something oily and edible.
Let's look a bit closer at some of the non-lube products used for sex.
Coconut Oil for Sex
Coconut oil is antibacterial and antifungal. These properties aren't necessarily the best option for delicate vaginal membranes. This ability to kill bacteria and viruses is one of the reasons it has no business in a vagina.
Vaginas are sensitive little souls with good and bad bacteria constantly battling for the top position. Coconut oil leaves an oily, clingy residue inside the vagina, likely upsetting the natural balance and allowing infections to take hold.
Generally considered to be comedogenic, coconut oil can also clog pores which in turn causes irritation. Add to that its latex-incompatibility and negative effect on soft-surface sex toys...
You'll understand why we'd recommend leaving the coconut oil for cooking and opting for a vag-friendly water-based lubricant for sex instead.
Olive Oil for Sex
Olive oil is a weak acid. Like coconut oil, it is not soluble in water and is a terrible option for sexcapades. Leaving residues clinging to the insides of the vagina will no doubt help the olive oil go rancid, and you can imagine what'll happen then...
Whilst edible, olive oil has not been recommended for sex use by FDA. Also, olive oil breaks down latex condoms.
Baby Oil for Sex
Using baby oil may seem like an obvious choice - if it's gentle enough to use on a baby, it's gentle enough to use on my pussy, right? Wrong.
It's that pesky oil again - it harbours germs and other harmful bacteria inside the vagina. This bacteria creates one unpleasant bout of Bacterial Vaginosis after another. B-Vag is never a good sign.
It can also cause Desquamative Vaginitis - more uncommon - which is the vaginal equivalent of skin peeling after a sunburn. Ouch!
Baby oil breaks down latex in seconds, leaving lovers at risk of STIs and unwanted pregnancies, and it ruins sex toys.
If you enjoy the slippery feeling of baby oil, we recommend switching to silicone-based lube instead. (Remember that silicone-based lube isn't compatible with silicone toys.)
Vaseline / Petroleum Jelly for Sex
Many couples opt for Vaseline/petroleum jelly as a lubricant for penetrative sex. Petroleum jelly is a mixture of natural waxes & mineral oils that together lock in moisture. Initially, it may seem like a good idea, but we'll explain why this product should only be used for chapped lips and dry hands.
Vaseline creates a thick layer of gloop inside the vaginal canal, creating an environment for trapping and growing nasty bacteria. It is not water-soluble, so no amount of water will rinse it off/out - and we hope you're not soaping up your vag as that will make an already bad situation much worse...
Vaseline breaks down latex - STI warning! - and ruins beautiful silicone sex toys. Put down the Vaseline and pick up a lube with great staying power instead.
Vicks VapoRub
Vicks VapoRub ointment may seem like a fun substitute for cooling and enhancing gel - but NO. Don't do it.
This mentholated topical gel is intended for use on the chest and back for cold and cough suppression. Applying it to the vagina causes burning in a way that brings tears to the eyes...
Instead, choose a gentle, condom-friendly lube like ID Pleasure for extra thrills.
Shampoo, Sun Screen & Shaving Gel
All of these are unsuitable products for sex use. Chemicals and fragrances will irritate genital membranes and increase the risk of unwanted infections. A sore vag is no fun at all. And chances are they'll burn through a condom in mere seconds - it really is not worth it, people. Protect your vag (or peen) by using only suitable products.
Water
Despite being wet (duh!), water is drying and not suitable for bringing additional moisture to frictional activities such as sex. (Or smear tests - we were horrified when a nurse ran out of lube and suggested using *water* instead. Not the same thing, lady!). Using water as lube may result in chafing and friction burns.Saliva
Using spit as lube is used as a visual turn-on in porn flicks - but this doesn't mean it is good practice. Of course, human saliva is better than nothing and needs must and all that, but a mouth is full of bacteria (espesh if it's been a few hours since teeth were last brushed). Saliva is 99.5% water but also contains electrolytes, mucus, antibacterial compounds and various enzymes.
There are so many excellent lubes available, there really is no excuse for not having a bottle of slippy wonder-stuff ready for play time!
