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Q&A: Advice on How To Combat Vaginal Dryness

Q&A: How to combat vaginal dryness - Sh! Women's Store
I am in my mid-50s, out of a sexual relationship for over 5 years, and experiencing serious vaginal dryness (PAP smear exams are excruciating.) I am also a sex toy newbie, so I would appreciate advice on what vibrator to use. I don't have any issues with orgasm - very easy - but I have read that vaginal stimulation/penetration will keep things alive. Your recommendations are welcome! Many thanks x

Hello there,

Thanks for getting in touch! This is a common question, and we'll share our best tips for moistness.

Dry and brittle vaginal membranes are often associated with menopause, but a dry vagina can affect women of any age for many reasons.

Common causes are levels of estrogen dropping following menstruation or childbirth, certain medications and bacterial imbalance in your once lush lady parts.

Vaginal dryness at any age is simply no fun, especially when it comes to being intimate. It might feel that your body is shutting up shop without your permission, but there are a few things that you can do to help things along and combat vaginal dryness.

Hot baths causes vaginal dryness

Who doesn’t love a warm bath or steamy shower before some hot lovin'? Of course, we all want to be clean, but bathing just before getting intimate can dry out the vagina and remove any moisture before the fun starts,

Bathing an hour or two before ex gives the body time to restore lost moisture. Avoid using harsh soaps around the genital area. A mild, non-irritating soap is ok, but warm water only is best if you're prone to vaginal dryness.

Ditch the vaginal douching

For some bizarre reason, vaginal douches are becoming more popular with women. Douches promise unrivalled cleanliness and vaginal health but offer anything but...

Douches can seriously mess around with the delicate bacterial makeup of your sensitive parts. This can lead to inflammation and dryness ‚Äď so avoid douching the vagina.¬†

A hand holding a black douche

Vaginal moisturiser combat dryness

We were sceptical about 'vaginal moisturisers' until we came across YES Vaginal Moisturiser. YES VM is an organic and hypo-allergenic gel that helps alleviate dryness and atrophy.

A 5ml application of the iso-topic formula to the delicate inner tissue typically provides a moist, comfortable vagina for up to 3 days. YES VM cleverly releases moisture as and when the vagina needs it.

The gel is complete without fragrance, colour, taste or residue. It is also free from parabens, hormones, glycerine or known skin irritants.

Lube is the best solution for vaginal dryness

...but it's essential that you choose the right one. Steer clear of flavoured or heavily scented lubes that can upset your vagina and cause itchiness; choose a water-based, paraben-free lube instead.

The lube we recommend for very dry vaginas is Sh! Pure Plus, a viscous water-based lube without parabens. As this lube is extra thick, it creates a lovely "padded" layer between the delicate membranes and the finger/penis/toy pleasuring it, minimising the risk of abrasions.

Sh! Pure Plus Libe surrounded by fairy lights

Natural lubrication

Use it or lose it - the old saying couldn't be more true. Keeping the vaginal juices flowing makes for a happy & healthy vagina. The more aroused you are, the more likely your body will create natural moisture.

Sensual massage is a fantastic way of stimulating erogenous zones and forming a closer bond with a partner. Opting for a high-quality massage oil will start to get things moving in the right direction! We love the Orgie Sensual Massage Oil. This oil is packed with high-quality ingredients and gorgeous essential oils like Sweet Almond Oil, Grape Seed Oil, Sunflower Oil, and Argan Oil.

A word of warning here: Oil-based products aren't suitable to use as vaginal lubricants. However sensual and sweet-smelling the massage oil is, keep it away from the vagina.

Oil-based products cling to the walls of the vagina, where they trap and harbour bacteria. The bacteria grows, of course, and before you know it, you have an unpleasant itch in your ditch...

Sex toys, orgasms & vaginal lubrication 

Arousal and orgasm are excellent ways of keeping a steady flow of blood to the genital area. By using internal toys, you'll keep the stretchiness of the vaginal canal in good shape too.

We talk about internal pleasure in terms of 'fingers,' i.e "how many fingers feel just right?" This helps gauge which size toy would work best for you.

We'd recommend starting with a size you know you are comfortable with. Choosing a slightly smaller size is more helpful than choosing a girthier toy that could be uncomfortable or even painful to insert. 

Our tapered vibe with a soft ribbed shaft is a great vibrator to start with. Add a generous amount of lube to your toy as well as your vagina before insertion - this will make play so much more comfortable.

a hand holding a slim pink vibrator with a ribbed shaft

We hope these tips help bring back both moisture and comfort! 

Best Wishes, 
Team Sh! xx


Hello Sh! Family!,
Great advice here. I’d add that perimenopausal and menopausal womenfolk may wish to discuss Estradiol vaginal inserts with their GP. These are TINY tablets of estrogen you can easily and painlessly insert in your vagina, with a super-skinny applicator (the size of a cheap pen). YMMV, but they worked BRILLIANTLY for me in restoring my natural flora and lush juiciness. (They also drastically cut down my estrogen-related UTIs, which is how I discovered them.) We absolutely do not need to suffer in silence as previous gens of vagina-owners (and their partners) did. Please don’t be shy about calmly discussing what would work best for you with your doctor. (And if your doc ain’t a sympathetic supporter of your consenting adult sex life, at whatever age, then you need and deserve a new doc! )

Lubilicious in London!


Thank you so much for your message; we’re sure many peeps will look into the tablets (count us in!) xx

Team Sh!

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