Can you guess how long we’ve been advocating for masturbation? Probably not - but we’ll tell you: it’s been 33+ years of sex-positive education and support for self-pleasure.
In our view, masturbation is a sexy, relaxing, and completely normal way to explore your body. It helps you understand what feels good, how your body responds to stimulation, and can open the door to more pleasure in partnered sex too.
For some people, masturbation comes naturally early on. For others, it doesn’t - and that’s often because of the environment they grew up in. Strong cultural or religious messages around sex can make self-pleasure feel complicated, or even labelled as “dirty” or immoral.
We also see that people with vulvas are more likely to have been taught shame around touching themselves, which can lead to feeling disconnected from their own pleasure. Meanwhile, many people with penises tend to start earlier and report less shame - but everyone’s experience is different, and there’s no “right” timeline.
We can’t tell you what to do with your body - and we wouldn’t want to - but if you’re curious about exploring masturbation, we’re here to offer a gentle, sex-positive nudge in your direction.
Is masturbation healthy? (and why the answer is yes)
Masturbation is a normal, healthy part of human sexuality. It supports self-awareness, stress relief, and sexual wellbeing.
It can help your body relax, ease tension, and support a general sense of wellbeing. For many people, it also improves sleep and creates a temporary sense of physical and emotional release.
Masturbation can also support sexual confidence. Learning what you enjoy on your own often translates into more satisfying partnered sex and a stronger sense of connection to your body.
On a brain level, orgasm activates the body’s reward system, releasing neurochemicals like dopamine and oxytocin that are associated with pleasure, bonding, and mood regulation. This is one reason masturbation can feel calming, uplifting, or emotionally grounding.
Some research has suggested a possible association between more frequent ejaculation and a lower risk of prostate cancer in men and people with prostates. However, this is an observed correlation - not a direct cause-and-effect - and shouldn’t be treated as a health target.
In other words: masturbation isn’t something you need to track or optimise. It’s simply one of many ways people can explore pleasure, release tension, and connect with their bodies.
One study found that men & prostate owners who ejaculate more than 21 times per month (very specific) reduce the risk of prostate cancer by around 33% compared to those who ejaculate only 4-7 times per month. Our tip for this is to keep an ejaculation diary. Once you hit your target, go one more time just for fun!
Does masturbation make you weaker?
Short answer: no.
Masturbation does not make you physically weaker, reduce your strength, or cause muscle loss. Any changes people associate with “weakness” are usually explained by normal life factors like sleep, stress, ageing, or general fitness - not sexual activity.
As we age, we naturally experience changes in muscle tone and connective tissue. Yep, that includes the pelvic floor. Sorry - but also: completely normal, and nothing to do with whether you masturbate or have sex.
The good news? Sexual activity, including masturbation, can actually support pelvic floor awareness and engagement. The pelvic floor is a group of muscles that play a key role in bladder control, sexual sensation, and erectile function. Keeping these muscles active and responsive can support things like continence and more pleasurable orgasms over time.
One of the best ways to support pelvic floor strength is through Kegel exercises - and yes, they can absolutely be paired with masturbation if that feels good for you. Think gentle squeeze-and-release movements in rhythm with your breath, sensation, or stimulation. No gym membership required.
Some people also enjoy using love balls (also known as pelvic floor training weights). These can be a fun and effective way to build awareness and strength in the pelvic floor muscles, and for some people they also add a pleasurable, sensual dimension to the experience.
If you’re curious about pelvic floor training tools, we’ve got a full guide on the benefits of love balls you can explore.
Masturbation gives a natural glow
Who needs expensive highlighters when your body can do the job itself?
Many people notice a temporary “glow” after orgasm - think flushed cheeks, brighter eyes, and a relaxed, post-pleasure softness. This is largely down to increased blood flow, muscle relaxation, and the body’s natural post-arousal response.
After orgasm, your nervous system shifts into a calmer state, which can leave you looking (and feeling) more rested and at ease. Some people describe this as feeling a bit more “radiant” or grounded in their body.
So if you ever notice that post-masturbation glow? That’s just your body doing what bodies do - responding to pleasure, release, and a bit of well-earned relaxation.
Make-up optional. Glow: included. wink
Masturbation helps you sleep
Many people find that masturbation can help them fall asleep more easily, and there’s a pretty simple reason why.
During orgasm, your body releases a mix of neurochemicals including endorphins, oxytocin, and prolactin, which are associated with relaxation, stress reduction, and that pleasantly sleepy, “ready to switch off” feeling afterwards.
At the same time, arousal naturally builds and releases physical tension, which can leave your body feeling more relaxed and settled - especially if you’ve been stressed, overthinking, or lying awake for ages.
So if you’re tossing and turning, self-pleasure might be one way to help your body shift into rest mode. Think of it less as a “sleep hack” and more as a gentle way of winding down.
And yes - your favourite vibrator absolutely counts as a legitimate bedtime wind-down tool.
Sex toys for solo pleasure
First Time Vibrators
If you’re new to sex toys, the best place to start is something simple, discreet, and easy to use: no complicated settings, no fiddly charging rituals, just straightforward pleasure.
These beginner-friendly vibrators are designed for solo exploration and are some of our most-loved picks for first-time users.
Here’s what customers have said:
- 'OMG this small vibe is truly epic' - Rainbow Bullet Vibe
- 'Not as powerful as the bullet, but you have the flexibility and additional length, so overall a better toy for solo play'Mini Rippled Vibe
- Oh how I love this little vibe! It really is the best sex toy I have ever had the pleasure of owning or using' - We-Vibe Tango X
The best beginner toys tend to be small, intuitive, and focused on external stimulation - so you can explore what feels good without pressure or complexity.
Clitoral Suction Toys
Clitoral suction toys (sometimes called air pulse toys) are designed to create targeted, rhythmic sensations around the clitoris. They're often described as more “focused” and different from traditional vibration.
Suction toys are generally very easy to use, especially once you’re familiar with where your clitoris is located. If you’re new to this type of stimulation, it can be helpful to start on lower settings and explore what feels comfortable for you.
Here’s what customers say about them:
- 'Great for solo as you can either just use the arm as a handle or bend it inwards to add some sensually shaped penetration to the suction being delivered to your clit.'- Tina Bendable Suction Vibe
- 'If you can only have one toy, this is The One!- Rose Clitoral Suction Toy
Many women find suction toys especially intense and fast-acting, but everyone’s experience is different, so it’s worth experimenting at your own pace.
Waterproof Vibrators
Waterproof vibrators are perfect for effortless me-time; whether that’s in the bath, the shower, or just somewhere you can lock the door and fully relax.
They’re designed to be safe for use in wet environments, which means you can mix pleasure with your favourite wind-down rituals like a long soak or a steamy shower.
For many people, adding water into the mix can feel more relaxing, sensual, and less performance-focused - just you, your body, and a bit of privacy.
Here’s what customers say:
- 'I love using this externally, the vibrations are just the right amount for me. It's also amazing in the bath!' - Cuties Slim G-spot Vibe
- 'It is a very powerful clitoral massager for its size and produces exquisite sensations and powerful orgasms' - Lelo Lily 3
Just a quick note: always double-check the waterproof rating of your toy before taking it into the bath or shower - just to keep things fun and safe.
Ride-On, Hump & Grind Vibes (hands-free pleasure toys)
If touching yourself feels unfamiliar or uncomfortable, hands-free vibrators can be a great way to explore pleasure at your own pace.
These toys let you experience stimulation and even orgasm without needing direct contact with your genitals - so you can focus on sensation, movement, and curiosity first, and go more hands-on when (and if) you feel ready.
One popular example is Ruby Glow Dusk, a ride-on clitoral vibrator designed for hands-free use.
Created by erotic writer Tabitha Rayne, it was originally inspired by the idea of a toy that could be used while writing erotica, but it works just as well for reading something steamy, watching porn, or simply switching off and tuning into your body.
To use it, place the toy on a flat surface or between your legs, then gently rock, grind, or move your hips against the vibrations. The idea is simple: you control the rhythm, pressure, and pace.
How to give yourself an orgasm
If you’re unsure how to have an orgasm - or you’re still figuring out what works for your body - you’re not alone. Orgasms can feel different for everyone, and there’s no single “right way” to get there.
A helpful place to start is simply exploring what feels good without pressure. That might mean external stimulation, internal stimulation, toys, or a mix of everything. Curiosity tends to work better than trying to “perform” or force a result.
To help you explore, we’ve got deeper guides on different types of pleasure and orgasm:
- The clitoris: how most people with vulvas experience orgasm
- The G-spot and internal pleasure exploration
- Squirting: what it is (and what it isn’t)
- Orgasm tips for beginners
- How to intensify and explore orgasm
- Multiple orgasms: is it really possible?
Need a little more help getting there?
If you’d like a bit more guidance, we’ve got you covered. Explore our carefully curated range of vibrators to find something that suits your body and your style of pleasure.
You can also dive into our advice on choosing and using vibrators, or take things further with our Becoming Orgasmic online course - designed to help you explore pleasure with more confidence, curiosity, and ease.
