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Q&A: Vaginismus - More Vaginal Dilator Sizes?

Q&A: Vaginismus - Bigger Size Vaginal Dilators? - Sh! Women's Store

Hi there Sh! team,

First of all, I want to say a big thank you from the bottom of my heart for creating the Sh! vibrating dilators. I’ve made so much more progress with them than I ever did with the Amielle plastic ones I’d got through the NHS. I also know from other women affected by vaginismus on the Vaginismus Network community that they’ve found the dilators amazing.

A few of us are wondering - would you consider making more dilator sizes? Many of us need to dilate to bigger sizes to prepare for penetration, whether during sex or as part of medical examinations, and we’re currently having to buy other sets.

I’ve come to the point where I’m comfortable with the 4th dilator in the Sh! set and I’ll most likely have to buy another brand for the final sizes… unless you’d consider making some additional sizes in the vibrating Sh! set?! 😊

I know lots of us would be so happy if you’d consider making a couple larger dilator sizes!

Thank you for what you do 💗


Great to hear from you - and we're so happy to hear you're getting on so well with the Sh! vaginal dilators

What Is A Vaginal Dilator? 

A vaginal dilator is a tube-like device (a 'shaft') that is inserted into the vagina to stretch vaginal tissue. The function of a dilator is to train and encourage the vagina to relax and/or stretch enough to allow pain-free penetration. A vaginal dilator is a treatment option for pain during vaginal penetration due to complex medical or psychosomatic conditions.

Dilators are commonly used by women & vulva owners with Vaginismus, vaginal atrophy, lichen sclerosus, pelvic floor dysfunction or after radiation therapy. They can also be used after MTF vaginoplasty.

Vaginal dilators can be made from a variety of materials like plastic, silicone, glass or steel. There are pros and cons to each material, but generally, the firmer the dilator, the more painful dilation can be.

Sh! Vaginal Dilators

Sh! dilators are hand-poured from silicone. They are hypoallergenic and non-porous. The Sh! dilators are firm enough for vaginal dilation but flexible enough to not cause unnecessary pain. This is a crucial aspect of their design.

Our dilators have tapered tips, which help with insertion. Many other brands offer dilators with blunt tips which look intimidating and feel uncomfortable or even cause pain.

Finally, Sh! vaginal dilators all come with a vibrating bullet that fits into the base of the dilator. Vibration can help relax tense nerve endings (thus, less pain) and can also help build arousal. The more aroused you are, the more the vagina will want to open naturally, and this can be immensely helpful with dilation.

Sh! Silicone Dilators for Vaginismus and Painful sex

Larger Size Vaginal Dilators

The Sh! vaginal dilators come in a set of four. From small to large, they measure 0.53 inch (13mm) to 1 inch (25mm) in girth. This may not be enough - it depends on what you are working to achieve. Inserting a tampon without pain is different from pain-free penetration with a penis, for example.

Now, remember how we said that a dilator is a tube-like device, or shaft, designed for vaginal training? Let's consider what that means.

A tube-like device or a shaft is also a way to describe an internal vibrator or dildo.

So, this means an internal vibrator or dildo can be used as a vaginal dilator.

Did we just blow your mind?

A 'dilator' is a medical description of a health condition. A dilator is really a shaft for vaginal insertion. As are internal vibrators and dildos. Are you with us? Once you have mastered Sh! dilator size 4, you can switch to using pleasurable sex toys :)

Your health professional may not be comfortable prescribing sex toys (they should be!), or maybe you don't feel comfortable with the idea of sex toys, which is perfectly okay. If it's the latter, we recommend sticking to vaginal dilators, albeit a different brand - our number 4 is the largest dilator we offer. 

Next Step For Vaginal Dilation 

The Sh! Wirly 3 silicone dildo is the natural next step after dilator 4. Made from the same silicone by the same member of our team, Wirly 3 is 30.2mm / 1.19 inches in girth. It's a small increase in size, but not enough to put your vagina off. If the subtle ribbing seems a bit scary to you, we recommend covering the shaft with a condom. Voila! Smooth!

If you have found the bullet vibrator and its thrilling patterns helpful, the Wirly 3 is available in a vibrating version.

If Wirly 3 seems too long, Wirly 2 is a shorter but slightly girthier option (27.5mm). 

wirly 2 silicone dildo in pink with gold bullet vibrator

Another favourite dilator option is our Cupid 2 silicone dildo. Cupid 2 has a tapered tip and gently curves out around the middle and base. Again, a vibrating version is available.

The firmness of glass dildos is an acquired taste, but it can be great if you prefer or need a dilator that doesn't flex or bend. The Sh! Blue Helix Double Dildo has a diameter of 33.5mm / 1.3 inches at its widest point. The long handle can be useful if you like a little bit of extra reach.

Ready To Go Bigger? 

We measure internal toys in 'fingers' - i.i.e. finger / 1.5 fingers / 2 fingers and so on. This is not a scientific measurement, but it gives us an idea of what size you are working towards. For comparison, Sh! vaginal dilator number 4 is less than two fingers in girth.

Once you are ready to go to 2 fingers, the Sh! Waterproof Rabbit is a good option. Like a slimmer version of a traditional rabbit vibe, this bestseller offers twirling beads and a stimulator for the clitoris. The beads in the shaft can be super-helpful if you have been advised to stretch the opening of the vagina. The bunny ears tease the clit while you dilate/play, and cthe hances of pleasure or even an orgasm dodouble

Penis Size Vaginal Dilator

Many customers have been advised to ask for 'penis-size dilators,' especially if they are working towards intercourse with a partner. This presents problems for us. Penis sizee' is not one size - it's not a measurement we can work with. Erect penises come in sizes from micro to XXXL, so really... We cannot guess what you are looking for (and we don't want pics!).

Tailored Advice

Once you are comfortable with Sh! dilator 4, we're happy to suggest a list of products that might be suitable for you. Please email us at, including as much information as possible. We're not trying to embarrass you - we need to know where you are in your dilation journey so we can advise on suitable products. Please bear in mind we measure across a dilator or vibrator - not around it. To be helpful, we need measurements in 'fingers' or across, please. 

Read more vaginismus advice here.

We hope this helps!

Best Wishes, Team Sh! xx

Visit our Vaginismus Awareness website here!

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