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Q&A: How Do I Make Pregnancy Sex Better?

Q&A: How Do I Make Pregnancy Sex Better? - Sh! Women's Store

Hi Sh!

I'm pregnant and horny. I'm a few months pregnant with my first baby, I used to have sex with my partner 2 or 3 times a day, but now I'm pregnant, it is just not happening. It's down to once every 2 or 3 days, and last night, he couldn't get aroused. I was so humiliated. I feel like I'm fat and unattractive. 

He's been saying he's tired and that he's still attracted to me, but he also said that he didn't enjoy sex so much now I'm pregnant. I'm only going to get more pregnant, so I feel really worried about this. I'm so horny right now, and even when we do have sex, it doesn't feel like he's into it or wants to give me pleasure. 

I hate being pregnant right now, and I don't know how to fix this. Please give me some ideas on how to make pregnancy sex better for him.

Hi there,

We're sorry you aren't feeling great about your pregnancy right now. We hope we can offer some advice to help change this.

Hormones & horniness during pregnancy 

With an increased blood flow to the vagina and hormones like oestrogen and progesterone rushing around your body, experiencing a rise in arousal and juiciness is normal during pregnancy. This results in a heightened libido and an increased ability to orgasm (become multi-orgasmic, even!) during pregnancy. We completely understand that you want to make the most of it - and you should! But you may need to accept you'll be enjoying sexy time on your own sometimes.

Although you are the one carrying the baby, your partner has a lot going on too. He may be worried about the future; if he'll be a decent dad (responsibilities can be scary) and bring in enough money. It is also common for men to be worried about hurting their pregnant partners, thus avoiding penetrative sex occasionally.

Explore non-penetrative sex during pregnancy 

It's important that the two of you figure this out together as a couple without placing blame on each other. Maybe agree on a date night once a week? You could enjoy long, slow massages and doing sexy stuff that doesn't involve penetration unless his heart is 100% in it. 

Sex doesn't have to involve a penis to be great - you can have so much fun without one! He might feel fine about giving you pleasure with his tongue or fingers rather than his penis.

Looking at other ways of pleasuring each other can open up a whole new world of opportunities for fun. This is a fantastic time to discover new ways to explore erogenous zones. Spending time being intimate with your partner or yourself without inserting a penis lets your imagination dream up new ways of experiencing pleasure. 

Masturbating during pregnancy 

For your increased horniness, we'd suggest masturbating when your man is not in the mood for sexy time. You could use fingers or a small clit vibe

The Beatrix Mini Wand is a super-cute vibrator designed for clitoral pleasure. This mini massager delivers 10 thrilling modes, all controlled by a single button. We recommend using a gentle water-based lube for comfort and enhanced sensations. 

Generally, using lube is not harmful to either mother or baby, and we have a selection of good water-based lubes to choose from. During some stages of pregnancy, lubricant can also help enhance pleasure and alleviate any dryness caused by overactive hormones. (Although many women find the body naturally produces a lot of natural moisture during pregnancy.)

Best of luck!

Team Sh! xx

Advice on pregnancy & lube 

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