Hey, I'm really self conscious about my body hair and it's making me not want to have sex. There's nothing wrong with me, I just seem to have a lot of dark body hair.
And it's everywhere, not just on my legs and armpits but on my boobs and my butt and back. I feel so disgusting and I'm worried that any guy I hook up with will find me disgusting too.
I shave but I tend to get razor bumps and ingrown hairs that make things look even worse!
I really love sex but I just don't think I will ever feel comfortable enough with my body to hook up and I don't really want a boyfriend right now. I don't want to suffer a sex-free life, but I don't know what else to do? Any thoughts?
Thanks for getting in touch!
First of all, you are not disgusting - everyone has body hair to some degree. It's normal to have some hair on breasts, hands, feet, stomach… All sorts of places. Having a happy trail on your stomach is very common. You might not love it, but it's not uncommon and definitely not 'gross.'
The amount of body hair women have is something that varies massively. The photoshopped, smooth-skinned images you see in magazines and social media are not reflective of women's bodies in real life.
We're guessing you have been checked out by your GP and have no hormone imbalances. Excess hair can be a sign of Polycystic Ovaries or other health issues, but it sounds like you are just fine. There are treatments that can be used to help reduce hair growth, including oral contraceptives, so it *might* be something to discuss with your GP if you find that your body hair impacts your confidence.
Most grown men are aware that women grow hair. There might be the odd one so blinded by porn that he expects you to have Barbie-like hairless limbs, but we assure you this is not a common perspective. (Any person expressing such views is not fit to enjoy the pleasure of your company anyway!)
And - we know men (and women, for that matter) who find body hair sexy...
Hair removal options
You can look into options like laser hair removal and waxing if there are certain areas of hair that are really bothering you.
There's also good old-fashioned shaving. The best method to avoid irritation is to soften the hair with baby oil and then use a gentle shaving foam or cream and a sharp razor. It's best to shave in the direction of the hair to avoid ingrown hairs. Exfoliation and remembering to moisturise the area can also help.
Vibrators for pleasure
You don't need to pick up a guy to get your kicks - that's what vibrators are for!
It's perfectly ok if you don't feel confident having partnered sex until you have addressed this issue; it doesn't have to mean giving up on sex for life. However, we hope your feelings about your body hair won't prevent you from being your best sexual self for too long!
The anxiety you are experiencing about your body image is far more of a problem than hair, and talking to a professional might help you to feel more confident.Best Wishes,
Team Sh! xx