For many men, the female body can be a challenge to navigate at the best of times and pleasing a woman can seem impossible at the worst.

We know this because our customers share so many intimate details with us. Sometimes customers share because they are over the moon (“I had my first orgasm last night!”), and other times out of frustration (“Why doesn’t he just do it the way I want it!”). A common complaint is that male partners, in particular, are going at it too fast, too intense or in all the wrong places.

Many men haven’t yet realized that women need their parts stimulated in the right way for the right amount of time in order to orgasm – and the right way for the right amount of time varies from woman to woman and even from one sexual encounter to the next.

A number of despairing female customers have asked us to put together a little print-out-and-keep-guide for their guys, so grab yourself a cuppa and settle down coz here we go!

(And, of course, these tips work for any lover of women – not just fellas!)

Erogenous Zone 1: Nipples

Nipple sensitivity varies from woman to woman, but generally, the nipples are a great place to start. A word of warning here: Many guys like to handle the nip-tips like they’re tuning in to a radio station but trust us, few women enjoy this manhandling move…

Instead, start off gently, teasing, cupping and stroking her breasts. Treat them with the respect they deserve. Once she pushes closer to you, it’s time to get lips and tongue involved.

For added fun, why not drizzle some chocolate sauce over her nipples – you can then spend however long you like licking it off!

As her breathing increases, lick and suck faster for added intensity. If you really want to excite her, a gentle nibble every now and then will do the trick.

These hands-free nipple massagers are great fun and highly recommended. They attach directly to the skin around the nipple and offer gentle suction whilst you work your way down her body…

Erogenous Zone 2: Clitoris

The clitoris is the holy grail of sexual discovery for most women, and it’s also the route to many toe-curling, pillow-grabbing orgasms.

While it is the one place most men head to when they want to pleasure their woman, many go about it the wrong way. They end up chasing off the orgasm rather than encouraging it to come gushing forth…

How to give her clitoral pleasure

First of all, no one likes a chafed clit: Trim your nails, be generous with the hand cream and crack open a bottle of vagina-friendly lube. This is all part of your prep.

The tip of the clitoris has thousands of nerve-endings and will instantly cry out in pain if you go in all guns blazing. It simply doesn’t work.

Orgasms are essentially a release of pent-up energy. The best course of action is to go slow (very slow) (even slower). This builds up energy (neuromuscular tension) to maximum capacity. Think of it as an orgasmic marathon rather than a sprint – pace yourself.

The clitoris loves a licking

Starting off with oral sex – if she is comfortable with this – is a good idea. The tongue is soft and moist, two things that most vulvae are partial to.

You can add a drop or two of the vagina-friendly lube to the labia lips, clitoris and opening, even if she is feeling rather juicy to the touch.

The most important thing to do is to keep steady with whatever movement she likes best. Caress her clitoris using the whole of your tongue, and add in some sucking motions here and there. Nibble on the labia lips, blow gently on her clit (not into the vagina) and keep your rhythm steady. If she seems to like it, do it again. And again.

Many women worry that they take too long, so reassure her by letting her know there is no place you’d rather be.

Think of the clitoris as a clock face and work out where her "Happy Hour" is. Many women prefer stimulation of 10-11 or 1-2, but take your time and work around the clit-clock. There will be one or two spots that are far more receptive to your soft touch, and this is where you should focus your attention.

Direct stimulation of the clitoris can be overwhelming. Unless your partner says she wants direct pressure, always tease around the sides of the clit instead.

Erogenous Zone 3: G-spot

There’s a lot of speculation surrounding the G-spot. Does it really exist, or is it just a myth? Where is it located?

We certainly believe in its existence (as part of the structure of the internal clitoris), but it would be fair to say not all women are responsive to stimulation of this area. 

The area of the G-spot is located about half a finger on the front wall of the vagina. The surface feels less smooth than the rest of the vaginal walls. Blood flows to the area during arousal, and the G-spot becomes easier to locate and stimulate.

How to Stimulate Her G-spot

Add a drizzle of lube (we told you lube would come in handy!) to one or two of your fingers before gently sliding them into her.

Curve your fingers upwards towards her G-spot and stroke in slow but firm come-hither motions. Remember to not go harder or faster until she asks for it.

At this point, she may feel a need to pee. Chances are that her G-spot is coming out to play, so see if she's happy to continue the stimulation. Unless she really needs to pee, the sensation should turn into intense pleasure.