Tales from Sh!, the UK's first women's sex shop (sadly closed since Covid lockdown)
'I tried one of them rabbit vibrators once, but I didn’t like it… it got tangled in my pubes.'
Rabbit vibrators, and all versions thereof, may be the most popular sex toys in the entire world, but that doesn't mean they work for everyone. The comment above just goes to show that one rabbit in the bush isn't always better than two in the hand...
Rabbit vibrators aren't usually classified as Health & Safety Risks, but we suppose that depends on how they are used!
'I tried that Tenga Egg. I didn't like it'
The male customer looks at our surprised faces - this is unexpected: a man who doesn't enjoy a session with a Tenga Egg?
We're keen to find out more and ask him what it was that didn't work - not being penis-owners ourselves, we have always imagined that Tenga Eggs are literally the best sex toys for men ever.
'It chafed my penis' he replies.
It takes a few horrified seconds before the penny drops and we ask if he used the lube that is handily packed inside every Tenga Egg.
'No, I didn't use the lube' he replies and wanders off before we have a chance to ask more questions.
Suddenly the chafing makes a lot of sense - he's rubbed himself raw by not using the all-important lubricant...
Ouch! Always add a generous drizzle of lube, people!
We are very excited about the Easter Egg Hunts we have planned for Good Friday and Easter Saturday - we've been hatching clues for teams to hunt Tenga Eggs in our shop in Hoxton.
We'll keep the competing teams plenty lubricated with glasses of fizz as they hunt high & low, and the winning team will walk away with a hamper of sex toys to keep them occupied for the rest of the Easter holidays.
Fun Fact: it is a rare day when no one buys sex toys, but Easter Sunday is the annual day of no sex. No one (we repeat: no one) buys sex toys on Easter Sunday. It is the one day of year when family commitments & religion wins over the pleasures of the flesh.
But then it's Bank Holiday Monday and all is well again.
Bank Holidays do seem to heighten arousal, and strap-ons and kink paraphernalia practically fly off the shelves. We find that couples are keen to try new things on Bank Holidays (or as we like to call them, "Bonk Holidays") and many customers reach for the butt plugs, for example. Whatever you get up to over the weekend, we hope you have an eggciting time!
We'll leave you with this gem from a rather thirsty new member of staff:
Newbie: 'Ooh, they look nice! What are they? Are they energy drinks??'
Manager: “No, they are masturbation cups for men...”