We saw our fair share of Brides & Hens, when we had our physical shop ( sadly closed since Covid lockdown)
Many plan a visit to Sh! as part of what is often a packed day out, and others just happen to find us during bar crawls around trendy Hoxton - either way, these groups are always great fun.
The hen party season is already in full swing, and we're looking forward to more Bridal mayhem this Summer.
Thinking back to a few of the more memorable groups, the first hen party that springs to mind is that of a Bride & Bride Hen Do at Clink78 in Kings Cross. Set in an old courthouse where punk band The Clash once stood trial, we arrived as unobtrusively as possible. We'd been asked to "arrive discreetly" so as not to offend other guests, but there is only so discreet you can be when you travel with a suitcase full of crops and cuffs!
Quickly directed to a room - a former prison cell, no less - we were slightly alarmed to find ourselves faced with a lightly dressed woman who invited us to come in and make ourselves "comfortable" amidst the unmade beds. A tad uncomfortable, we wondered if the hen making the booking had misunderstood what kind of service we offer - it really does not involve getting comfortable on beds...
As it turned out, the hen was fresh off a flight from Germany and hadn't been told that entertainment had been booked; she'd simply assumed we were guests staying in the shared room. Phew!
Following her into a dark, hot cellar, we unpacked enough kinky paraphernalia for all guests to part-take in a Bedroom Bondage Soiree. Wrists were cuffed, bums were spanked and hot wax was dripped in the blistering July heat. It was a sweaty afternoon, but so much fun!
Butlers In the Buff!
We recently found that West Londoners are equally mad for a wild hen party. We stood outside a beautiful building in Queensway, just taking in the loud (LOUD!) whooping, shouting and cheering.
We knocked on the door and waited politely.
Two butlers-in-the-buff opened the door, tiny aprons covering their modesty and cheeky grins on their faces. Heading back into the melee, their bare bums sashayed away from us.
We followed the wiggly butts and found ourselves in a room full of giggly women.
The hens completely ignored us (well, there were half-naked fellas serving alcohol) - until we started unpacking our trusted suitcase. Vibrators, lubes and arousal oils quickly made their way around the room and we ended up SHOUTING ourselves hoarse in order to be heard...
Our voiceboxes were thrashed by the end of our Orgasmic! class, but again - so much fun!
The Bride has a Wedgie!
A group of hens wearing black Minnie Mouse ears on their heads trooped into the shop, before revealing the Bride at the end of the line - dressed as a wedge of cheese.We don't remember much of the afternoon as this was a while back, but as a group-look, this one wins hands down. Not many women can pull off the Edamer look, but this "cheesy" bride totally rocked it!
Father of the Bride
Going against tradition, this next group of hens decided to invite the Groom & his Stags without telling the Bride. Also invited was the Father-of-the-Bride, which left us in a bit of a predicament: we'd been booked for a Spanking class, meaning the Bride would end up tied to a chair and spanked with a number of implements...
That sort of thing can be awkward when parents are present.
As the evening wore on, the Bride, in a PVC catsuit, was spotted swigging Prosecco straight from the bottle whilst her brother was kneeling in the middle of the floor, shirt wide open and with clamps attached to his nipples. The Groom, dressed in pvc shorts and vest, crawled around on all fours and nipped at our ankles like an unruly pup. Guests were climbing on the furniture.
Dad didn't bat an eyelid.
In fact, we later found him blindfolded and cuffed whilst a strapping young lad rubbed melting wax into the bare skin on his arm.Afterwards, Papi wanted his picture taken with us.
At the end of this wild class, we wrung out our satin cuffs which had been marinated in alcohol, downed a tequila shot as a good-job-treat and left the wide-eyed waitresses to clear up all the smashed glasses…