Being sent home from work with a brand new sex toy to try out is truly one of life's more delicious treats. Granted, it doesn't happen to many, but I'm one of the lucky ones and I always make the most of it.
This one was presented to me in a beautiful black box with a gold Cleopatra stamped onto it, and my G-spot was doing somersaults just by looking at it. I wasted no time; the box got shoved indelicately into my bag and I left work to get home as soon as public transport would allow.
Once home, I opened the box and inspected the contents. I was not disappointed. Zalo Queen, in jewel green, is a statement piece: a toy that can be proudly displayed on the mantelpiece for others to admire (I don't have a mantelpiece, so my nightstand will have to do). A sensual curve of the shaft, strong vibrations (always a good sign!), a warming feature and the tapping of the tip... Good Lord, what even is this magic!
And...hang on...a hood? Colour me confused!
Covered in silky silicone, ZALO Queen is hygienic and easy to keep clean. As always, water-based lube is recommended for silicone toys and for this experience, you'll want to have a nice, big bottle handy - you'll need it!
Turn Me On!
Like most modern toys, ZALO Queen is USB rechargeable. A magnetic charger sticks itself to the two charging points at the back of the vibe, and simply plugs into a USB port. A full charge takes only one hour (!) and offers 1-2 hours of pleasure, depending on what play mode you choose.
A golden snake slithers around the handle, its head a classy Swarowski crystal. Two small 'swishes' in the soft silicone indicate on-off buttons. Button A ensures Queen is on standby, ready for action, and it also controls the pulse-wave. Button B controls the vibrations, and Button C offers extra heat for your nethers.
Lets' start there.
Warm Me Up!
For those who enjoy an extra bit of warmth on their bits, ZALO Queen is a treat. A built-in heating feature is set at 42° Celsius or 107° Fahrenheit, and a press of the control at the top of Queen (button C) will engage this.
I was too keen to read the instructions properly, so I impatient complained that the shaft didn't warm up but I eventually found that the heat is set in the tip of the toy, rather than the shaft. It takes about a minute for the tip to heat up, so really, no time at all. Unless you're impatient, in which case it seems to take forever...
Lesson learned: always take time to read through instructions properly.
Now, my lady garden isn't too bothered about an extra warm toy. Instead, I find the heating feature useful for warming up cold hands - it's kinda nice to just roll it in my palms.
Pulse-Wave Me Up To Heaven Baby!
I was most intrigued by the pulse-wave setting or 'tapping' as I like to call it. Having never seen this before, I was keen to give it a go.
Here's the blurb: PulseWave™ technology uses adjustable intensity with a range of up to 75 times stimulation per second. Its carefully crafted sleek design is convex in the centre with an angled form allowing for point-to-point waving stimulation and wave-press the G-spot at high frequency.
What does it mean for the muffkin?
With a slick of lube on the convex centre in the tip, I pressed button A and set Queen to work. The sensations felt, to me, like a moist, insistent tongue that laps rhythmically at the clitoris. I didn't need to increase the intensity or move the toy - it did its own work and it was not long before I shouted:
But the fun didn't stop there.
Pressing button B started the low-pitch vibrations and more lube was slicked on for G-spot play. The tapping combined with the vibrations is quite mind-blowing, and I'm not sure which was most efficient - the pulse-wave or the vibration - but darn it, the Queen delivered again!
The G-spot can be tricky to find and tricky to stimulate, but the angled head of the Queen fits perfectly. ZALO Queen is a firm toy, but the G-spot often responds better to the firmness and for me, this works marvellously well.
Offering 8 modes, the vibrations are deep and set at different speeds and intensities so there is plenty to explore.
Suction Sleeve Fit for Clits
The ZALO Queen Set includes a peculiar-looking silicone sleeve, a sort of flappy riding hood. I was a little bit unsure but my curiosity won out, and I decided to give this a go.
For this to work, the tip of the Queen must be covered in lube or you may damage the hood. Drizzle the lube over the head of the ZALO Queen and use your hand to work it over the tip and the top of the shaft. Slide the hood over the top and down over the shaft, with the peek-a-boo hole placed directly over the convex centre.
Press button A to start the pulse waves and place the suction tip over the clitoris. This starts off a whole new round of pleasure - suction on the clitoris is one of the most reliable ways of climaxing (as Womanizer and Satisfyer Pro have proven) and Queen does not disappoint; before long, wave after wave of pleasure hits and if you press button B for vibration, you have yourself more sensations to enjoy!
I'm the proud owner of both Womanizer and Satisfyer Pro toys, and the difference between them and Queen is the variety of suction sensations. Queen lets you add vibration, waves or arcs of pleasure rather than straightforward vacuum-sucking, and it creates a whole new level of teasing before deep climaxes blow you over. From the tip of your toes to the top of your head - if you're into having one orgasm after another, ZALO Queen is ya gal!
For more control - or to hand over control to your partner - download the ZALO Remote app to your mobile phone. This takes mere minutes and is a fun extra - although I almost peed my panties when I saw the words "Share with your family" on the screen. For a moment, I worried about relatives getting pinged after every explosive orgasm, but I've since been reassured this is not the case. (Thank God for that - they'd find the incessant pinging very distracting!)
Creating your very own pleasure waves is lots of fun, and useful! All those times you wished the mode of your tot would go a second longer or dip a bit deeper? Those days are gone - design your own patterns and let your body have the orgasm it really wants!