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Q&A: How do I have a prostate orgasm?

Q&A: How do I have a prostate orgasm?

I know you're female focused but I thought you might be able to help me. I'm interested in 'exploring' if that's the right word, my prostate. It's not something I've done before but the idea is growing on me I guess. I'd just like some advice on where to start and what to expect?


Thanks for getting in touch, we're always happy to help!

Prostate play adds a new dimension of pleasure for men & penis owners, and it's an area worth exploring. P-spot stimulation is becoming increasingly popular, and no wonder: It intensifies orgasms! Also, it's possible to climax from prostate stimulation without touching the penis - magic!

Arousal is cruical for sensual prostate play

The prostate is often compared to the female G-spot. Like the G-spot, the prostate swells and hardens as arousal builds. It's cruicial to be incredibly turned on before exploring it.

Stimulating the P-spot is a slow and erotic activity, so give yourself lots of time. Lock the door, switch off your phone, load your favourite porn... Play and build arousal before going anywhere near your butt.

Use anal lube for safe prostate stimulation

The anus isn't self-lubricating, and it's probable you'll end up hurting yourself if you try inserting a finger or toy without using lube.

Anal lube is thicker and more long-lasting than regular lube. Slick some onto your anus, and slightly inside. Also, apply generously to your finger or toy. You may need to reapply lube during your play session - this is perfectly normal.

How to find your P-spot

The prostate is located approximately 2-3 inches inside the ass. This is roughly the length of a finger. If you have partner and they're into exploring this erogenous zone with you, we say to accept a helping hand :) 

Ask them to insert a lubed-up finger into the anus and stroke towards the front of the body (the belly button is a good indicator) using a 'come hither' motion. They should feel a walnut-like shape, and you'll feel them stroking it. The more turned on you are, the more receptive your prostate will be to stimulation.

Smooth, clean nails are imperative for ass-fingering

An illustration of a finger highlighting the prostate

Try a prostate massager

Reaching and massaging the P-spot with your finger may be tricky (unless you have very long arms), if you are exploring on your own. This is where prostate massagers come in handy!

Prostate massagers are sex toys designed for P-spot pleasure. They have a slim shaft for penetrating the anus and a flared base to ensure the toy doesn't get sucked up into the rectum.

Some prostate massagers vibrate, and some don't - this is down to personal preference. It's worth trying a vibe version, as vibrations help relax tense nerve endings in the tush. 

It's important to start small. Opting for a slimmer massager ensures that inserting it and playing with it will feel comfortable and sexy. If you experience pain, you need to stop and reassess the situation. Do you need more time? More lube? Maybe a smaller toy? Pleasure is your goal, so don't grit your teeth and carry on. 

a black prostate massager with a curved tip on turquise tissue paper.


Read more prostate pleasure advice here.

We hope this helps! 

Best Wishes, 

Team Sh! xx

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