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Sex and the Menopause

Sex and the Menopause - Sh! Women's Store
It pains me to admit it, but my muffkin and I are no longer livin' la vida loca. Gone are the days of PDA's in parks, bars and other semi-discreet public areas - these days it's more a case of low libido, comfy pants and an large bottle of extra-thick lube to take care of the thinning membranes in my newly dried-out vagina.

It really is happening...

The menopause is knocking on my door, ready to barge through at any moment.

It's a funny thing, the end of periods. When we're younger we can't wait to get rid of them, but when we're slowly inching closer towards a time when shop assistants no longer refer to us as "miss" (we're now "madam"), we're aching for a few more drops to remind us that life (and sex) as we know it, isn't over.


Menopause and sex - two things that don't always go hand-in-hand.

Frequency slows down, if you even remember to do it at all (menopause has a terrible effect on your memory). We opt for comfortable positions like spooning rather than wheelbarrows and hanging from the chandeliers as it's gentler on creaky knees and bad hips.

Libido is at an all-time low, and we don't recognise ourselves when we look in the mirror, "Who is that? It looks like my mum... Wait, that's me!" *Horror*.

It's no surprise that women who are going through menopause are four times more likely to suffer depression than younger gals with full flow.

More than 4 million women in the UK (41-51) are experiencing the menopause right now.

Then add those who are experiencing early menopause... and you'll see that if menopause was trendy, we'd be crashing Twitter right about now. Around 80% of UK women will experience menopausal symptoms, with about 45% experiencing stressful symptoms. When night sweats, palpitations and mood swings hit, it can be hard to get the juices flowing and many women end up feeling "past it".

It's easy to just not bother. It's easy to leave sexy adventures to the younger ones - after all, who wants to see a menopausal woman in frilly get-up? (Actually - quite a few; I have it on very good authority that the over-40's are in high demand when it comes to sexy photo shoots).

We menopausal women may suffer hot flushes, headaches and memory loss, but we are also more comfortable in our own skin (oh, the painful 20's), we know what we like (having spent our 30's experimenting with partners and toys, we now find it easier to ask for what we want and therefore we have more orgasms) and we've had a good clear-out (divorce, anyone?) so we are *ready for a good time* - and then the menopause happens.

ON natural arousal oil

Personally, I swear by ON Arousal Oil (it had such a marvellous effect, I recently had to order a new bed frame - just saying), a great vibrator and sexy books for fun-time.

Try one or all - experiment with different types of lube and enhancing products, buy a vibrator (it may make all the difference!) and surf the web for something good to read or watch.

However, even with a plethora of fun ways to make menopause more bearable, it can still be a lonely place. Many women report feeling low as they battle their symptoms in silence.

Which is why I was thrilled when I realised there are meet-up groups for menopausal women!

Once such group is run by the fab peeps behind Reclaim the Menopause, which is a fantastic platform for finding out more about the menopause, as well as an online space to share your experiences of it and to learn about events & courses you can attend.

I recently spent a enjoyable evening at Sh! with a group of merry, menopausal women from Reclaim the Menopause; they meet up every week, supporting each other through the menopause. This is just brilliant! It's wonderful to realise that we are, in fact, not alone - there are millions of women going through the very same thing. Right now!

They are a  friendly, easy-going bunch. Having  never met them before, I wasn't quite sure what to expect but I needn't have wasted time wondering. You see, they were just like me. Women, still sassy, still fabulous, whose bodies happen to have entered menopause. Listening to them was liberating, and I no longer feel negative about my own menopausal woes.

Spending an evening in the company of these marvellous women did what no self-help guide could - I now feel ok about what is happening and I know the support is out there. Check them out. 

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