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Spanking – Why do people really like it?

Spanking – Why do people really like it?

There is a fine line between pleasure and pain and for many that line is blurred entirely when it comes to spanking. Whether performed as simply a playful pat on the behind, to pep up another sexual act or as a BDSM scene, there is no denying that some people just can’t get enough of spanking or being spanked!

So, just what is it about spanking that's so irresistible?

Spanking feels really good!

Let's start with the obvious; spanking feels really good! The buttock area is a fairly well-protected muscular region and also home to fair few nerve endings, so it’s no surprise most of us respond with pleasure when our partner slaps our rear during a sex sesh.

Although they may seem jiggly, our buttocks are actually where we hold a lot of tension.  Spanking, as the slap or paddle vibrates through the muscle, is actually just another form of buttock massage and a great way of releasing tension.

Considering we often sit on them all day, the bum-cheeks are actually very sensitive and responsive to a whole range of sensations; from the lightest tickle, through to warming smacks and onto teeth-clenching whacks... Contrasting sensations really build up arousal and is a sure-fire way to have your partner begging you for more.

Add even more sensation to your spanking session by bringing this Body Feather Tickler Pom into the mix and gently caressing their buttocks and inner thighs between smacks.

And finally, whilst we're on the physical feel-good factor of spanking, there are the Endorphins that are released as the body reacts to the 'pain' and sends in the natural painkillers to help (the name "endorphin" comes from "endogenous morphine").

Spanking allows us to relinquish control... Or gain it.

For those in high-powered or taxing jobs, where it's wall-to-wall decisions and stress all day, the chance to relinquish control, bend over and be on the receiving end of a good, old spanking is an opportunity to cease the usual top-dog position or stressed-out situation and give in to the commands and actions of somebody else.

Similarly, those who perhaps feel that they don’t have much control over circumstances in day to day life may relish the opportunity to ask their beau's to bend over.

Getting down with some hanky-spanky allows players to perform in a way they may not get the chance to, in everyday life, and this switching or exploring of new roles can be a huge turn on.

Want to explore the physiological pleasures of spanking without any real physical pain? This buttock-shaped Leather Heart Spanking Paddle with contrasting sides of silky leather and soft-fur is ideal for delivering a perfectly soft spanking, along with that all-important 'thwack'-sound!

Spanking can increase intimacy

Whether light and playful or more impactful on the body and mind, negotiating a spanking session is all about communication and good communication increases intimacy.

One study revealed that couples who engage in power-play together will experience an increase in relationship closeness and a reduction in physiological stress.

Even if it's just a playful bout, consent should always be sought and it's easy enough to do. Simply ask the question 'Do you like that?'

For more intense playtime, it's time to talk about safe words.

The bottom is well-padded and so long as you stay clear away from bony areas like hip joints or base of the spine and your spanking implement is traditional paddle-shaped (ie wide and flat) then you can't do lasting physical damage. But it can still hurt, so the spankee needs a safe word to ensure they are in full control of the intensity they receive.

A safe word is a word the submissive can use AT ANY TIME to stop the action. Agree on a word that's out-of-context (so not : 'Please' 'No' or 'Stop'!).

Many people use 'RED' for stop everything now, and also have 'ORANGE' as a way to communicate that limits are being reached and the dominant partner should ease-up/ give their sub a breather.

Spanking feels naughty!

Madonna's 'Hanky Panky' and these movie moments - elements of popular culture have meant that spanking has gained traction and is more acceptable as quite a commonplace sexual behaviour, but there’s still something about a spanking session that feels ever so naughty...

Spanking is synonymous with chastisement, which comes from the old French word 'chastiier' meaning "to warn, advise, instruct, admonish, punish dominate or tame.'

There’s something incredibly hot about performing an act that you feel departs from the ordinary and perhaps even better when there is a hint of play-acting about it.

A crop, with its bendy stem and equestrian connotations, is perfect for posturing and threatening to 'tame' a partner, but it's a toy to use cautiously as the hard, narrow stem doesn't diffuse sensation like a flat, wide paddle.

For anyone other than experienced BDSMers, the leather tip on the end of the crop is the place to focus your aim with.  Flicked quickly, rhythmically, across the buttocks and between thighs, the tip can provide a sensational chastisement that is light but effective.

There’s no denying that spanking is really enjoyable, and that’s really all any sex act should be. To keep it this way, make sure that you discuss your boundaries with your partner and are both clear about what you want to gain from the experience.

Browse all our spanking implements here.


The writer is obviously someone who enjoys this type of activity! Clearly biased, assumes that “…most of us respond with pleasure…” Any statistics? And, there is a good difference between slapping or spanking and tickling. The picture of the woman at the top of this page shows an emotion of…anger? aggression? together with delight? Perhaps the one inflicting the spanking is actually the one who have most pleasure. Some very early in personal history experiences? It is OK for those who like it; but trying to convince the readers is misleading and arrogant.


Hello Yan

Many thanks for taking the time to reply.

We may have to disagree with you a little bit; we think that the woman at the top is looking fierce but cheeky – not at all aggressive. When we look at her, we see a badass!

In our experience (a whopping 26 years worth!), the spankee experiences great pleasure as long as the spanking is done with love & care. We are all about sensual spanking, mixing pain with pleasure so that endorphins starts popping and everyone is having a great time. swoon

We agree it’s not for everyone, some people are just not into it and that is absolutely fine.

Best Wishes
Team Sh! xx

Team Sh!

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