Skip to content


Main Navigation

What to expect when attending your first sex party

What to expect when attending your first sex party - Sh! Women's Store

If you’ve never been to a sex party before, it can be difficult to know what to expect when attending your first one. Excitement, nerves, anticipation – there are so many mixed emotions flying around when you’ve got an invite to an event like this, so it’s really difficult to know how to act when you arrive.

Remember, this is going to be an experience you’ll remember for a lifetime, so just follow our golden rules for attending your first sex party and you’ll be in for a mind-blowing time.

Sex party etiquette

Going to a sex party is a little like going to any other social gathering, albeit people will get naked at some point. It’s a lot more fun than your regular after-work pint down the local,  but it’s still important to remember your manners.

All the guests know that this is a sex party, but some might be there to actively participate while others are just happy to sit on the sidelines and watch. For your first time, you might be happy to soak up the atmosphere and enjoy the 'show' rather than jumping right in, and this is perfectly ok.
Get to know the hosts, mingle with other guests and relax; there’s plenty of time to move things up a notch later if you feel like it.

Just because you are at a sex party doesn't mean you have to play with everyone!

You have the right to say no to an invitation, but always be polite. If someone won't take no for an answer and insists on your attention, do make the hosts or the monitors aware and let them handle it as they probably won't want this person at their party.

If someone turns down your invitation to play, remember to be polite and gracious. Maybe they don't fancy playing right now, or maybe they have their eye on another guest... Sometimes the chemistry is off and the only thing to do is look for someone who's on your wavelength and up for sexy fun with you.


Be honest about what kind of sex party experience you want - or don't want!

The beauty of a sex party is that there are so many people with varied sexual tastes all brought together for a great time...

Still, it’s a good idea to set your boundaries early and be clear on what you do or don’t want, so always be honest.

Many other guests will ask what you’re hoping to experience during the evening, so be honest and they’ll be able to introduce you to others who are looking for something similar.
If you’re going along with a friend or partner and it’s the first time for the both of you, it might be worth having some kind of code word if you both feel that you’re not quite ready for the experience after all.
Maybe something like ‘Sandra’s just called and needs to be picked up’ might work to alert your companion to the fact that you’re not feeling the vibe and would like to leave without making anyone else feel awkward.
Whether you enjoy the party together or separately, remember to check in with each other regularly. You might be having the time of your life, but is beau? Ask 'em! :)

Always be discreet at a sex party!

Unless it's a private party where every guest already know each other, most guest will use a scene name. You can of course choose to use your real name, if you feel comfortable with this, but always respect other guests' right to privacy.

You might bump into someone you know is called Laura IRL, but if she introduces herself as Kitty, this is what you call her at the party.

If you happen to see your bank manager rolling about on a pvc sheet wearing nothing but a butt plug and nipple clamps, you make no mention of it next time you go to pick up your foreign currency order.
Not everyone is A-ok with sex parties and kink and spousal swaps, and consequences could be dire if someone's very private & personal preferences were made public.

Safer sex is always high on the agenda at any sex party - but still, come prepared! there’s bound to be plenty of condoms scattered around the place. (If no one seems to care about safer sex, you may want to ask yourself if you really want to stay.) However, its always a good idea to take a little kit of your own supplies such as contraceptives, latex gloves, your favourite lube, baby wipes and some fresh pairs of underwear just in case.

If you bring sex toys, it's a good idea to cover them in condoms and pull off the used condom before dipping toy into a new play partner or orifice. Chuck a bottle of sex toy cleaner in your kit too if you're bringing toys. Regular spritz & rinses will keep your toys clean and free from bodily fluids.
Go at your own pace, be open to new experiences and making new friends, and you might just find this is the best fun you've ever had!

What's new Pussycat?

The newest sex toys to make our shelves...

Need any help or advice? let us know...


30 Memorable Moments at Sh! Women's Store
30 Memorable Moments at Sh! Women's Store

The good, the bad and why it's all been worth it!

Thank You - We couldn't do it without you!
Thank You - We couldn't do it without you!

I'm Ky, founder of Sh!, and I'd like to say a HUGE 'thank-you' for being part of...

Meet Team Sh! - Sh! Women's Store
Meet Team Sh!

The Pleasure Pioneers Since 1992. Whether delivering tailored advice, delivering top service, creating gorgous Sh! oen-brand range or...